Chapter Twenty

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Since I'm currently not doing JLMG, I decided to give you another..

Also, sorry for all the Of Mice & Men lyrics. But the new album was amazing.

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"This is my friend, mum. Meet Harry - Oh wait, you already know him. Very well." I spat, pointing at my brother. I don't think I've ever seen her so out of herself. Her eyes were bugging out of her skull and she was so shocked that she couldn't even move from where she stood.

"Marcel, I can ex-" She finally spoke up.

"Explain? Explain how the only person who has ever cared about me would 'screw me up'. The only people who have ever screwed me up are YOU!" I screamed. "YOU AND ROBIN! Do you not realize that every name you have ever called me is stuck in my head?! Do you think I don't replay them in my head because you're supposed to be my mother and if you say it, it has to be true! Don't you think that I would have loved to be anywhere but here every day?

        You screwed my head up so bad that I couldn't even believe my own boyfriend loves me. YOU'RE the one, mother - Not Harry, not Louis - you, and always you. I would never wish upon anyone to ever have someone in their life like you. You ruined me." I sneered. She actually looked hurt. She's got to be kidding me. "Now, get out of my room." After she turned around and left, I couldn't hold back any longer and Harry pulled me into him.

"It's going to be okay, Marcel. I'm going to take care of you." Harry whispered into my hair. I just nodded because I couldn't speak. "Do you want to listen to music?" I nodded again.

"C-Coldplay is in t-that drawer." I stumbled out.

"We're not listening to that shit when you're like this. Are you crazy? This is new." He replied, putting his phone on the doc. "Don't say anything about the genre, it will help." He pointed, before coming back and pulling me into his side. My tears leaked onto his black shirt and I sighed. I still can’t believe he's actually here.

        This band was absolutely horrid, but the lyrics were good.

"If I say I wouldn't be hostile,
could you say you would do the same?
If we're all made just a little bit broken,
tell me who is to blame?

Standing on ashes from the fires you've made,
burning your bridges just to save your face.

Wounds of regret."

"I'm going to take you away from here, Marcel, I promise. I'm going to make you better." He said over the screaming guy.

"O-okay." I whispered again. I won’t say anything else because I don't know if it’s the truth.

"I've tried to convince them
Their words hurt like stones.
I just wish they'd just leave me alone.

I am on my knees.
I need you to hear to me.
I am on my knees.
Hear me, please."

        He hugged me tighter as the lyrics made me whimper. "They'll pay for it someday. They can’t get away with the way they treat you. Louis' dad too."

"I w-want him b-back." I sobbed.

"I know."

"Through every bone I break,
Through every word you say,
You're just another enemy.
Right now, get away from me.
You won't, get the best of me.
I can't, stop or slow down,
I never have and I never will.

You won't break me
Or silence this heartbeat,
Your words—they mean nothing.
I will break free
From the walls that surround me,
I'm sick of this feeling, I will break free from you."

"I promise. I wouldn't be able to." He looked down at me and then his face lit up. "This is my song for you."

"When your reflection in the mirror smiles back it lies, you know it.

When you lay your head to sleep at night it's filled with every moment
Every chance you miss to be something, well learn from your mistakes

You're not alone you're with me
You're not alone you're with me

Don't let the world bring you down
There's always hope for the willing
Don't let the world bring you down
It's not over, you're not alone anymore

When it feels like all is lost and there's no guide that's left to prove it
Take a look inside, cherish your life
And live before you lose it

You're all waiting for the answer
Keep on searching, strength in numbers..."

        When the song was over, he stood up and turned it off. I looked at him, now with dried tear tracks on my face.

"That was h-horrendous." I spoke. A smile broke onto his face and he laughed.

"You're telling me Louis never made you listen to that stuff?" He smirked.

"No. He knows I wouldn't like it." I replied, crossing my arms.

"Well, I'm not your boyfriend, I'm your brother. So I don't care if you like it or not, you're listening." He fought back.

"They were good lyrics?" I offered. He rolled his eyes and shoved his phone in his pocket.

"That's because Austin Carlile knows the shit you're going through." He sat at the end of my bed.

        I looked at him, and somewhere deep down in me, I felt at home. But it slowly started to fade when I realized I could never be at home in this house. There are too many painful memories coursing through the not thin enough walls. There's too many harsh words built up in there. There are too many sleepless memories of the screaming and yelling. The nights where the doors would slam and the crying would be endless.

"Do you think I'll ever be able to get out of here?" I whispered to him.

"I do, One day, Marcel."

"But what if-" I cut myself off and pulled at a few loose strings on the comforter.

"What if what?" I met his gaze again and shrugged lightly.

"What if 'One day' is too far away?" I asked honestly.

 

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