Inner Rage and Deep Conversations

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I found Rebekah drinking champagne with a boy in a corner.   I smiled politely at the boy.  "Excuse us." I grabbed Rebekah by the arm and dragged her out of the compound into the street.  "We have to go."  I said.  "What happened?"   She asked.  "Marcel saw me."  I whispered.  Rebekah's jaw dropped.  "What?! "  "It wasn't my fault.  A boy asked me to dance and I got flustered so I went into a corner and my back was turned and my mask was on and he instantly knew it was me.  I'm sorry Rebekah.  I didn't mean for it to happen."   "Well, you'll just have to tell that to Nik.  Let's leave before he sees the both of us and follows us home."  

                                                                                               *

We opened the door to our house.  Nik was there.   "You're home early.  I thought the party didn't end until midnight.  It's only 10:00."  I took a deep breath.  "Marcel saw me."  Klaus's smile quickly faded.  "What."  He said it a little too calmly.  I told him the same thing I told Rebekah.  " I went into a corner for one minute and my back was turned, my mask was on, but somehow he knew it was me."  Then Klaus's anger arrived.  He kicked the wall, creating a hole.   "You never listen!  I specifically told you not to let Marcel see you!  You always screw everything up Tessa.  It's always you.  Now Marcel will ask if Elijah and Rebekah are here too and when he does find out, all hell will break lose.  You've been messing things up for me since as long as I can remember!  You had to tell that boyfriend of yours in 1885 that we were vampires and we had to flee again, before him and his family killed us."

 I hung my head with shame.  He was right.  He always was.  "Don't tell me this whole thing started because of a boy at that party."  I didn't answer.  Klaus walked over to me and shook me.  "Was it?!"  I nodded.  Tears stung the corners of my eyes.  "Nik stop."  Rebekah said.  "You're upsetting her."   "If she didn't get so bloody flustered when boys so so much as look at her, we wouldn't be having this problem right now.  This always- "   Tears welled in my eyes and I walked past Klaus.  Elijah appeared and I pushed past him, too ashamed to look at him.    

                                                                                                *

I sat on on the white rocking chairs on the porch.  Hot tears streamed down my face.  Crickets chirped in the steamy nighttime air.  Stars dotted the inky black sky and trees rustled with the slight breeze.  Klaus was right of course.  I have been ruining things for him.  Countless times.  I can't really remember all of the times, but the worst time was in 1885.  We were living here in New Orleans at the time. Our father Mikael was nowhere to be found and we were well into hiding.  My siblings and I were so happy here.  We finally had a permanent home.  But there was a boy.   His name was Alexander.. Him and I loved each other so much, I can't even put it into words.  We planned to be married.  We had a church picked out and everything.  We could tell each other all our secrets.  So one day, I decided to tell him that I was a vampire.  I thought;  what are the odds?  He won't care.  Well, I was too dumb and in love to realize the truth.  

Alexander was so scared of me.  He shut his home out to us and told his parents.  His parents wanted to kill us and they told the whole town that we were vampires. They had a plan on how to kill us.  Nik wanted to kill him and his family.  I said no.  I still could never hate him.  He was the only person I ever loved.  My loving brother Elijah, suggested we flee instead.   So we were going to, and we did.  But Alexander and his family had been watching us.  They knew where we headed so on the day we were meant to leave, they blocked our way with stakes aimed at our hearts.  Even Alexander.  I remember seeing him with a stake pointed at me.   Nik, being the quicker and more clever bet out of the humans, killed Alexander and his parents, as well as the part of the town that plotted against us.   Ripped out their hearts.  I remember screaming and crying, confused at why I was  caring for Alexander, since he was going to kill us.  I remember Elijah holding me back.  "Shh. It'll be alright."  I remember him whispering into my ear, stroking my hair.   For the last couple of years after that, I stopped caring.  Klaus has taken away my love , and Elijah's love, a little while before mine.  Celeste was Elijah's one and only love, like Alexander was mine.  

She was a witch, and Elijah adored her.  One day, Klaus ordered a witch hunt and Celeste was killed, along with all of the other witches in the area.  Elijah was devastated, so he knew what I going through.  That's why I got so flustered around Matt tonight.  I was afraid to care.  If I cared,  I was afraid that Klaus would take away my only chance at happiness again.   I didn't know how to act around boys anymore, because I haven't acted around them at all since 1885.  Elijah is the same way, so that's why we have such a special relationship.  I helped him, and he helped me.    I heard a door shut and I jumped.  It was Elijah.  I turned my head and quickly wiped away my tears.   He sat down on a chair next to me.  

"I'm sorry Elijah.  I knew I said Marcel wouldn't see us tonight, but my back was turned and my mask wasn't off all night, but he still knew it was me and Klaus is going to-"  Elijah shook his head.  "It's alright.  Niklaus isn't going to dagger you.  Or Rebekah.  He knows he was hard on you and that Marcel spotting you tonight wasn't your fault."  I looked at him.  "Did Klaus really mean what he said?  Do I really ruin everything for him?"  "No. You don't.  He was just angry.  Don't let his hateful words get to you anymore."  I swallowed.  "Elijah?  Is it ok to care again?"  Elijah's expression softened.  He took my hand.

 "Of course it is.  You care for your family don't you?  That's a half.  If you want to let someone other than family into your life, then do it.  Just because I don't do it, doesn't mean you don't have to. I'm not ready yet, but if you are, fine."  "I embarrassed myself in front of that boy tonight Elijah.  He'll probably never want to see me again. But somehow, I liked being around him."  Elijah smiled.  "That's love Tessalynn.  Embrace it.  Honor it, and most of all cherish it.  It's ok to love again. Once we get his whole brawl with Marcel settled, pursue it."   "I don't know if I'm ready yet either.  The hardest thing to do was watch your true love have his heart ripped out by your brother.  I'm just scared that Klaus will ruin my happiness again.  But, I do think there is a glimmer of hope.  I shouldn't be scared of Klaus anymore.  I don't know what I feel yet, but I think it's pointing down the good road."

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