Dark Secrets

Chapter 58:

The next morning I woke up around noon. It was Saturday and I didn't have work. I looked around the room and fear gripped my heart as I looked around the unfamiliar room. Then I had a flashback of everything that had happened. A new wave of grief washed over me. I pushed the feeling away and stood up. To distract myself I thought of work, wondering how that was going to work, living with Pierce and all. I highly doubt Pierce is going to let me keep my job now that we made our vow. I work for the law and yet I'm staying with a criminal. I scoffed at the irony. Plus if I went to work I'd see Draco. My heart clenched at the thought of him and my eyes filled with tears but I blinked them away. I was doing this for Draco. No matter how much it hurt, I needed to remember that.

I walked over to my closet and pulled out a random outfit. I needed to shower, maybe a shower would wash everything away. I walked up to the door but hesitated. I wasn't sure what was waiting for me outside that door. I didn't want to face everything that I had vowed to do.

Before I could get out of my head long enough to open the door, there was a knock. I gripped the doorknob and slowly opened the door. Pierce stood on the other side.

"Good morning" Pierce said. "Do you want breakfast?"

"Uh...I was actually going to hit the shower."

Pierce nodded and walked closer to me. He lean down towards me and raised his hand towards my hair and I flinched. I heard Pierce scoff as he leaned back, flicking a feather out of his hand.

"I realize you're afraid of me, but I'm not going to force myself on you." He paused. "Again. I meant what I said last night. I want you to learn to care for me. I'm not going to force you into anything you don't want to do." Pierce walked out the door, calling out as he did, "I'll be downstairs if you need anything."

I ran my hands through my hair and sighed. This is not going to be easy.

I walked down the hall, checking doors until I found the bathroom. I walked in and locked the door. Putting down my pile of clothes, I turned on the water and grabbed a few towels. I stripped down and jumped in the shower.

If I closed my eyes, I could pretend that I was at home, with Draco just in the next room. I could still smell his strong cologne and soap that floods every room he walked in. I could still see his disarrayed bottles and soaps that decorated our bathroom counter. I could see the amusing glint in his eyes as I tried to scold him for making such a mess all the time. I could feel Draco's arms around my waist and his soft lips pressed against my forehead as he tried to distract me (it usually worked). I could hear his deep, sleepy voice as he whispered how much he loved me every morning.

I kept my eyes closed, pretending Draco was still with me, that I hadn't just vowed to practically never see him again.

****

After a long shower, I finally emerged from the bathroom—freshly cleaned and thoroughly cried out. The morning brought a huge weight of realization. I would never be able to see Draco again, not unless Pierce permits it. It might be years before I saw him again. What if he moved on? I wouldn't blame him—it's selfish to ask Draco never to move on, but it would still hurt. I'm just glad I got to spend a few years with him, though. I wish it was longer. If I could go back in time, I would have kissed him the day he caught up me from falling onto the train tracks. I would have stuck through all the times he pushed me away. I would have fought harder to keep him close.

"Jen."

I jumped at the sound of my name, realizing I had stood in the hall—lost in my thoughts—for quite a while.

"There's breakfast, if you're hungry" Pierce said, motioning downstairs where I assume the kitchen was.

I nodded and followed Pierce down into the kitchen.