One With Gods [Loki]

Hate Me

LOKI

The memory of her naked body was etched on my mind. If I were to go blind at this very moment I would be content because at least I would be able to visualize her for the rest of eternity. Isabellianna is a true work of art, every curve like a painters stroke of his brush. Her colors were magnificent, her long green hair against the smooth, hot mahogany. In the first few moments she appeared to me, when I thought she was just an illusion I created subconsciously, how natural she looked. Her slender fingers entwined in her hair, her eyes closed gently. I imagined her long eyelashes tickled her high cheeks. Her jaw was relaxed her mouth hung open the slightest bit. Full lips parted to show her two pearly front teeth. In those few moments time seemed to stop, but was my magic capable of creating an image so perfect? I called out her name to make sure I wasn't going insane and I regret it from the moment it left my lips.

Surprise engulfed her face, along with confusion... and hate. She covered her body and told me not to admire her. I tried to respect her wish but in the end I gave in to my desires. She was beautiful even if she did cover herself. I was saddened when she left, I made sure to tell Ygritte to send our mother to check on her. I remembered my first projection, I didn't fare too well. Isabellianna was strong, I knew she would be alright. I knew she would really hate me now. It gave me a little hope when she said she thought of me as she bathed. I was actually talking to Ygritte when the Mejordian showed up in my room, my sister informed me that she already had many men who were interested in her. From warriors to rich men, who would she choose? Surely not the evil prisoner. Never Loki, the God of mischief and trickery.

She has hated me from the first moment she laid eyes on me. The irony was refreshing. A part of me has loved her from the moment my eyes beheld her. I chuckled at my pain. It was only natural, I should be used to the short, shit covered end of the stick by now. My life would make the writers of the worst tragedies weep. Everything I ever want is never anything I can have. Everything I ever deserve is always just out of my reach. But did I really deserve a perfect creation like Izbell? She obviously deserved better than me. Better than the person who tried to kill her precious humans, better than the one who is known for lying and deceiving people, better than me who brought the Chitauri who killed her ancestors to kill off her new family. She is the only person I told the truth to about my situation. How I was being controlled by The Other, the mad Titan. Maybe she thinks I was lying about it all just to drag her away from her friends on Midgard. Now that I think of it she is the only person I haven't lied to at all. 

She is the first and only for many things. She is the only woman I have literally dreamt about.  The first and only one I have revealed my secret study to. She is my only love interest that my mother actually approves of. She is the first person I've knelt to willingly after my 'fall from grace' and she will be the only one. She is the only one worthy of my bent knee and bowed head. She is the only one that actually angers me because I know she will never be mine. 

The part that drives me to madness is that she hates me but I can't move on. I am stuck on her and her alone. I was able to move on from the others, like Sigyn, but not her. She has me wrapped around her finger and she doesn't even know it. I would give her the sun if she asked for it. Anything to gaze at the stars in her gold eyes.

But who knows, with my luck she'll fall for Thor and then he would have the throne and my love, and that happy bastard wouldn't know what to do with either of them. But I will be forced to watch from this cage. Based on her first love Thor would be what her tastes reflect. Blonde hair, blue eyes, and slow witted. Maybe she liked feeling superior by surrounding herself by people obviously dim. 

I shook my head, glaring at my ceiling. It wasn't a question of why them, it was just a matter of anyone but me. 

So curse me if I found console in the image of her naked body that graced my thoughts. I deserved to receive this one sliver of happiness. In my head where her arms were wrapped around me and we were both naked.  The sanctuary where my name was a mantra on her lips starting at just a whisper but rising with every breath, every kiss, every touch, every thrust. A beautiful crescendo that was music to my ears, when at last she reached her peak and was yelling my name.

"Loki!"

I sat up quickly in my bed. The angel of my dreams standing at my bedside, hands on her hips, fully clothed and looking fierce. I grinned at her. "My Isa-" I was cut off by her hand connecting with face, striking me. Two things I realized then: one, this wasn't just a projection of her; and two, she liked slapping me. I was reminded of the first time me shared words, she struck me and I was surprised at her strength.

"You ass!" She cursed me. 

My eyes widened as I bought my hand up to my cheek which actually stung a little. "I'm sorry." I found myself apologizing, even if I didn't know the root of her anger but it was true. I was sorry for any and all of the pain or trouble I caused her.

She took a step back, fire leaving her eyes. "Uh, you better be..." She said, obviously defeated.

I swung my legs off of the side of the bed and stood in front of her, looking down at her, into her innocent gold eyes. "I truly am, please forgive me."

Her eyebrows knitted as she looked up at me. "Loki," She whispered and my heart leaped, "what's wrong?" she asked.

I smiled sadly. "Absolutely everything." I told her, I needn't lie.

"I... I.." She stumbled, looking for words. She groaned, crossed her arms over her chest, and looked away from me. "I'm sorry I slapped you."

I chuckled. "You are my first of many things, Izbell, you are not the first woman to strike me."I informed her.

"Ugh, I hate you!" She yelled, her fists clenched as she turned back to look into my eyes and I didn't think three words could sting me more. I knew it wasn't the words more so as it was her who said them. But I already knew this. Why did it hurt me so much? Why did my eyes prick with tears and why did my heart feel like it dropped down into my stomach. Her eyes widened. "Woah, you just went really muggy...." She said quietly to herself, her eyes examining me, her teeth caught her lip. "I don't- I don't really hate you, Loki.. I just said it 'cause I came down here looking for a fight and I was just surprised and a little disappointed you didn't fight back." She laughed nervously.

I walked past her to sit in my chair across the room. I would never understand this girl, not even if I could read her thoughts from a page. "Why would you want to fight me?" I raised an eyebrow.

She looked down at her feet. "I enjoy our arguments, no one challenges me like you do and it excites me." She confessed and I was speechless.

"Oh, so the great Gunter Podson doesn't challenge you, Medjordian?" I asked her, raising an eyebrow, sparking her flame.

"How did you-" She stopped herself. "Ygritte." She guessed, I kept my mouth shut. "Well to answer your question, Jötunn, no, I actually think he's a little challenged himself." She smirked.

A laugh emerged from my lips, that was unexpected. I looked into her eyes and the fire from before was back. Maybe she didn't hate me. I was the liar, I was the one who couldn't be trusted. I would trust her and take her word. I would have to believe she didn't hate me. "Muggy?" I asked, changing the subject.

She smiled nervously. "Well you know I can see people's auras, they appear to me as bands of color around a person, each color has a meaning, but when you lose color or become cloudy or muggy, that usually means something is wrong." She explained.

I returned a smile. "Tell me more."