Addicted. (Destiel)

That's what friends do, or not?

Cas' POV

Dean didn't broke the eye contact between them. He just stared at Cas with a worried gaze.

Oh god please no. He had seen it already. Damn it Cas, you have to be careful.

"W-What do you mean?" Cas' voice was weak and you could hear that he was broken.

"C'mon Cas, you know what I mean and I know what it is, so let's just skip this part."
Dean was sitting next to Castiel now and he could hear Cas' heart beating in his chest.

"I'm sorry if I am driving you in an unpleasent situation right now but... I can't just... watch you hurting yourself and... not do anything."

Castiel wasn't able to say a word. He just sat there like he was frozen and stared at the other boy.

Dean took a deep breath. "Does Sonny know about this? Or anybody else?"

Castiels gaze went to the floor and he shook his head, still not able to speak.

"Cas, buddy... talk to me." Dean's voice was still weak. He looked for Castiel's eyes and when he saw they were wet, he decided to lay his hand on Cas' knee.

Why is he so worried about me?... And know he's touching me. God, I can't handle my feels.

"When did you see it?" He finally managed to stutter out some words.

"Yesterday. And today in the morning. I couldn't sleep 'cause I was thinking about this." Dean answerd.

"I've never talked to anybody about it." Cas said after a moment of silence. Dean's hand was still laying on his knee.

"Show me your arm, Cas."

Castiel just sat there in silence and looked at Dean again. He needed two minutes until he was able to move his arm in Dean's direction. Cas wore a dark blue pullover which fitted perfectly to his eyes.

Dean carefully pulled up Castiel's left sleeve and layed his arm down on his own lap. The cuts were not that deep but they were truly visible. He softly slided his finger across the boy's arm to feel the unevennesses, trying hardly not to hurt him with that move.

"How long are you doing this?" Dean asked.
"A couple of months. Or a year I don't know."

"A year? And you have never talked about it?" Dean was shocked. He didn't know it was that bad.

"I thought I could handle it. I thought nobody would understand it anyway."

"Cas, you have to stop."
"It's not that easy Dean. I can't just-"
Dean inerrupted him. "I'll help you."
"How do you think you could?" Castiel was incredulous.

"You'll see."

What is he thinking how he could help me? He knows me since yesterday. What's going on with him? Why does he even care?

"Dean?"

"Yea Cas?" They shared a deep gaze.
"Why do you care about me like this?"

"Because you need it. And nobody else does. But the main reason is... you're my friend. And that's what friends do, or not?"

Cas tried to smile but he couldn't. Instead, his eyes filled with tears again. He wanted to hug Dean but he didn't know if Dean was okay with that. And then Dean hugged him.
Cas grabbed him tight and never wanted to let him go. He felt Dean's heart beating a little faster and whispered a weak "thank you, Dean."

Castiel didn't know that it could be that relieving to talk about it. He felt so facilitated now. He truly thought he would get it under control.

"Cas, can you promise me something?" Dean broke the silence.

"I'm not sure. What?"
"You have to promise me that you'll tell me when you do it again. Wake me up when you feel terrible, I told you I'll be there for you. I don't want you to get through this alone. Okay?"

"But Dean, this-"
"No contradiction."

"Okay. I'll promise."
Dean hugged him again.

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Short chapter, I know. Next will come soon