Mend Me (StudxStud)

34

With her eyes focused on her lap Katora thought about if she made the right decision or not. She didn't want to do anymore running and it felt like she was constantly running after Chantelle. When Chantelle fell she would instantly jump to save her but now that they were broken up she didn't believe that jumping would be necessary.

Closing her eyes she dragged her fingers through her hair. With all the choices she had to make she felt stressed out. Nobody told her loving someone was going to be this difficult . Nobody told her that being in love meant that she would have to be dedicated. That she would have to give herself away. She tried to convince herself and others that she was done but maybe she wasn't. She was afraid to be the only one still holding on to nothing. She knew in her heart that she wanted to go see Chantelle but because of her pride and the fear that Chantelle would turn her down had her in bondage. She just didn't want to be hurt all over again.

"Katora," her mother called interrupting her thoughts.

"Hmm?" she mumbled slowly turning her head so that she could face her.

"Are you sure you don't want to go see her?" her mother asked referring to Chantelle.

"I don't know."

"What are you afraid of?"

Katora shrugged and frowned," I'm afraid that if I go see her she wouldn't want to see me. My pride is killing me."

"I was once told that you shouldn't let pride ruin everything. There could be a possibility that Chantelle broke up with you for a selfless reason. She could've been more concerned with your well being than her own well being," her mother paused for a couple seconds,"The thing about love is that it takes commitment. It's better to lose your pride over someone you love than to lose someone you love over your pride."

"And what if seeing me will only make the problem worse. I just don't want to be the one to-"

"Stop over thinking things. There's no what ifs, just go see her."

Katora thought everything over. She was taking into consideration what her mother said about pride. Standing up she rubbed her cold hands in her jeans. She didn't know how she was getting to the hospital ,but she did know that she was going to make it.

............................

Fluttering her eyes open Chantelle stared at the white walls of the hospital room. She remembered entering the hospital but she couldn't remember what happened after . She barely recalled what took place before . All she could remember was how the gravel felt against her skin as she was being dragged and the metallic taste of blood in her mouth.

Her body ached but she suppressed the pain. The familiar feeling of being powerless and losing control was brought back to her. She was so accustomed that it now almost felt like nothing. She felt like nothing. She was so sick of everything. She felt so empty and alone just like before.

Emptiness was one of the worst feeling that Chantelle knew. She hated the feeling of not having any emotion. She felt neither happy or sad. Her mind was spinning but she couldn't feel anything at all.

Hearing the doors open her eyes settled on the persons who entered. The doctor along with her Uncle and Romania walked into the room.

"I'll leave you two to it or would you much rather prefer taking turns?"The doctor asked.

"We'll just talk to her together,"Romania responded.

"Alright then. I have her charts so when you guys are finished with her please come and see me. I'll be outside the room."

They both nodded before allowing the doctor to exit the room. Chantelle looked back at the ceiling because she didn't feel like having a conversation with anyone. She just wanted to be alone for the time being.

"Where's Katora?" she heard her uncle ask in a hushed tone.

"She said she didn't want to see her and something along the lines of being done."

Hearing those words leave Romania's mouth allowed Chantelle to actually feel an emotion . At that very moment she preferred feeling nothing at all than the feeling of sadness and hurt in her heart. The psychological pain she felt because of Katora overpowered the physical pain she felt from being beaten and raped.

Romania and her Uncle walked over to her and proceeded to talk to her. No matter how much they begged for her to talk to them she never once opened her mouth to speak to them or turned her head to even look at them. Romania held Chantelle's face in the palms of her hand and continued to beg for her to speak as tears from frustration rolled down her cheek. Even then Chantelle didn't speak.

Romania eventually pulled away from her and wiped her tears away," She's not going to talk ,lets just go see the doctor."

They gave her one last look before they both left the room. Minutes later the door opened again , assuming it was Romania and her Uncle again she kept her eyes on the ceiling.

Seeing Chantelle laying there all battered up brought tears to Katora's eyes. She didn't know what had happened yet but she could only guess. All this time she had complained about not being heard when she was the one to not listen.

She fought against her pride and walked up to Chantelle. As soon as she came into view the beeping from the electronic devices in the room sped up. She was starting to think that maybe this wasn't a good idea.

"I know that you might not want to see me but I had to come see you. Even if you don't love me anymore or never loved me at all ," her voice cracked ,"I-I just want you to know that I love you with all of our problems and that no matter what I'll always be here for you."

Feeling so embarrassed and useless Chantelle couldn't bring herself to look at Katora.

Katora bit her lip. It was now obvious to her that Chantelle really didn't want to see her. Holding her head down in shame and disappointment she stepped back preparing herself to walk off.

"I'm sorry for all the things I ever said to you to cause you to hate me and I'm sorry for forcing myself into your life knowing that I didn't belong," Katora shoved her hands into her pockets," I guess this is it. Good bye Chantelle.

Chantelle blinked rapidly as she watched Katora walk away. She didn't want her to go but she couldn't stop her. Opening her mouth she tried to speak but no words came out. She tried to move a single part of her body but she just couldn't move. She found herself crying and screaming on the inside as Katora walked closer and closer towards the door.

"Stop !" she screamed in her mind but the word never left her mouth.

Placing her hand on the door nub Katora began to twist it . The minute she opened the door she knew everything was really over. With one foot out the door she ceased her actions.

............

"S-stay,"

............

Well guys.

It is not a cliff hanger.

This is supposed to be the end but it doesn't feel like the end so....IDK