I Hate You (Everything About You)

Davey the Dick Bag

You awaken from your long sleep. You rub your eyes as you sit up and check your surroundings. This isn't your place.... Oh wait. You look beside you to see Crocker's back turned away from you. He was still snoring so you knew he was still asleep. Great... you let your hormones and anger get the better of you once again, even with Dirk trying to stop you.

You turn John over so that he's facing you. You carefully examined his sleeping face. He looked so... peaceful... 

Wait wait wait peaceful? Him? No way. Everyone knows that Crockers are crazy. It's probably just an act or some shit. Yeah that's it.

You get up from the bed and put some underwear on, then explore Crocker's home. You take a peek at each room you come across. In one room you saw a bunch of random junk, but the rest were all pretty neat and what surprised you is that this place was even more tidy than your place. That annoyed you a bit. 

You soon found a very empty room with a single piano. Wow. That's stupid. Why wouldn't you at least put a few music posters on the wall or something, Crocker? Sheesh. It's a waste of a good room.

You then go down stairs to find the living room. You saw that he had a nice TV, along with a shelf full of movies. You went to the shelf and looked at the different movies he had, only to notice that part of his collection was every single movie you've made so far. What the hell? Why does he have all of them? Is he like, obsessed with this ironic crap or something? Whatever.

You put the movies back up and go through his kitchen. After going through the millions of Betty Crocker cake mix, you eventually find something easy to make and eat. You took it and microwaved it and enjoyed yourself a nice cup of mac-n-cheese. You're pretty sure that Crocker wouldn't mind you taking some of his food anyway.

You tossed the trash away and headed back to John's room.  You sat back on the bed and noticed that John was still asleep. Jegus, how much does this brat sleep anyway?

You heard your phone ring so you picked it up.

"What do you want?" you asked in a frustrated tone.

"Bro. It's me." Of course it's Dirk. God fucking dammit.

"Yeah I get it so what do you want?"

"We need to talk."

"Why. I am not a fucking kid. I can handle things myself."

"No you can't. Bro, you're taking out your anger on Crocker through bad methods."

"What the fuck do you mean and how do you know."

"I just know Bro and you need to fucking stop. It's unhealthy and you're only going to hurt yourself and Crocker more."

"How? He doesn't give a shit about me and I don't give a fuck about him."

"If so then why do you constantly talk about him and why did you fuck him."

"How should I fucking know!?"

"Well I do know. You LIKE Crocker, but you are refusing to admit it, causing you to stress out and get angry, and you're taking your anger out on him by fucking him without even a care. You LIKE him, but you pretend that you hate him so that you can push him away from you emotionally and fuck him with out emotion. You're treating this like all the other times you've had one night stands. You really need to stop Bro... You really are only going to make things worse and hurt each other more..."

"..........Shut up."

"Bro! HE likes you!! Crocker likes you!!! He's got a crush for you and you just treat it like it's nothing, when in reality you care about him! He wants you Bro. And it's not just for the sex. He wants you to confess that you like him back... You need to stop blindly hating him... You're acting like a dick bag..."

"DIRK SHUT THE FUCK UP! WHAT DO YOU FUCKING KNOW ABOUT CRUSHES AND RELATIONSHIPS AND ALL THAT BULL SHIT!? YOU'VE NEVER EVEN BEEN WITH ANYBODY AND YOU PROBABLY NEVER FUCKING WILL BECAUSE YOU'RE AN ANNOYING PIECE OF SHIT WHO HIDES HIMSELF IN HIS ROOM ALL DAY AND DOESN'T EVEN INTERACT WITH ANYBODY!! I BET YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE A CRUSH THAT WILL EVER LIKE YOU BACK BECAUSE OF HOW MUCH OF AN AWKWARD FUCK YOU ARE!!!!"

Dirk was quiet for a while.

You grumbled.

"b... bro... please... j... just tell him h... how you truly f... feel...," his voice was shaky, but you didn't notice.

"Bye Dirk."

You hung up your phone and put it down. You angrily put your clothes back on and grabbed your phone. You glared at Cracker once more before leaving and slamming his front door shut. You needed some time to cool off so you left and headed towards the park.

You hate Crocker. You hate him all too much. You don't "like" him at all. No fucking way.