N.E Heartbreak

Chapter 35

Chapter 35
Cassandra

2005

"Are you sure you're not too old to be making music like this?" RJ, two months away from fifteen, jokes as he and his cousins listen to our new material.

"Really, Ma. Y'all not 20 no more." Almost-thirteen-year-old Tre says to Steph.

"But y'all not too old to catch an ass whooping." I threaten playfully and they laugh.

"For real, Momma," Kim grabs my shoulder. "It sounds like what Sean tried to do to N.E."

She was referring to the last album the guys did under Sean Combs' label. A lot of the material shouldn't have been sung by men almost in their forties. It was meant for younger artists trying to reach younger audiences— something NE wasn't trying to do. Plus P. Diddy didn't want to pay Steph or Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis to produce the album so it was trash. At least to our standards.

"Right. Y'all almost forty too. Way too old to be trying to sing like us." Q shrugs.

"Honestly, it's not even that bad. Sure it's a song about absolutely nothing but I like it. Sometimes you just need a dumb song to dance to." Jackson defends us.

"That's why you're my favorite," Steph teases as she hugs Jackson. "That's just one song anyway. 7/11 isn't what the whole album is."

"Then let us hear the rest." Ben says and I play We Belong Together, a more mature record. They nod their heads as they listen.

"I like this one. It's just enough longing without being desperate," Wally says. "It has great potential for amazing, like, lyrical choreography."

Wally takes after his mom as the best dancer amongst the kids. Even Jackson, who's had a countless number of dance lessons, can't keep up with Wally. His dancing is innate— it's something he was born with. Jackson's dancing is partially learned.

"Have N.E and Uncle Brooke heard it yet?" Lucy asks.

"No. Not yet," I shake my head. "We wanted to know what the kids of this generation thought before we bought it to the old guys."

We all laugh as they check their Blackberries. "We have to go. We have a meet and greet soon." RJ says.

"And we have a radio interview." Kim kisses my cheek. They all hug us before leaving for their different promotional activities.

"Too old," Steph scoffs. "Shit. We will never be too old. This is our generation, damnit."

"It was our generation. We chose differently." I correct Steph and she gives me a funny smile.

"I know. That's just what I wanted to tell them," She rolls her eyes. "They may have been born a few years before we were, but we know all of the upcoming trends."

"Facts. They wish they could be as cool as us," Jacque says and we laugh together. "When did we become old?"

"The moment we were in 1985 as 18 year olds who were born in 1966 and 1967 instead of '98 and '99." I say with a heavy sigh.

"Do you regret it sometimes? Like when the kids call us old? Or when people think we're too old to be making certain songs?" Jacque asks, looking to Steph. Even as grown women, she and I still look to Steph to protect us or to give us answers. I bit my lip as I wait for her response.

Steph looks down sadly. Guilt takes over her face. "Yeah. Yeah, sometimes I do regret it. Sometimes I feel disconnected from everything. As if I don't belong but I do. I love this life but I can't help wonder what if we had chose to go back in our time, you know? Let Annie, Lynn, and Andra take our spots. So they could live out these lives as us and we could be ourselves."