Intercom - I seem to have found an imminent disliking in this place and have opted to taking over the building. You have approximately twenty-two seconds to leave before I counsel you to an early grave
Feathershine: I swear to god-
Hazel: i'M TAKING OVER KIDDOS
Mottledleaf: Oh no, not another one of you... lot
Hazel: I beg your pardon?
Mottledleaf: You twolegs, you, you humans! You're all the same; loud, obnoxious, irritating!
Hazel: *offended* I'm British I'll have you know, totally different
Mottledleaf: What's a British?
Hazel: Y'know you have ThunderClan and RiverClan
Mottledleaf: Yeah?
Hazel: Yeah.
Fireheart: DID SOMEONE SAY THUNDERCLAN! THE ALMIGHTY FIRESTAR IS UPON YOU
Feathershine: I could've sworn we got rid of him! Can someone take him back home?
Fireheart: Yeah, who knows the way back to ThunderClan?
Catty: I do!
Mottledleaf: A twoleg! Are you British?
Catty: what no
Mottledleaf: get out
Feathershine: No, no! She can take him back to 'ThunderClan'
Catty: You think I'm taking that with me? Uh, no, sit down, counsel me, and then I'll take him
Feathershine: Well of course! *Mottledleaf go away* What can I do for you?
Catty: No, I request Hazel's counselling
Hazel: Fake your own death
Catty: huh?
Hazel: That's the answer to everything, fake your own death and frame your enemies
Catty: ... you know what on second thoughts you're great!
Feathershine: Thought you'd say that
Catty: So uh, my wife and I have been in a loving relationship for sometime now
Feathershine: Mhm, so what's the problem?
Catty: ... she's in a loving relationship with eight other people as well...
Feathershine: Well fu-
Mottledleaf: Are you happy with that?
Catty: I don't mind very much, but I feel like I'm in some kind of cult
Mottledleaf: Well, sit down with your wife and talk to her, tell her how you feel. If you love each other, you can make it work, but if you're unhappy, do what's best and move on
Feathershine: -cking hell that's a lot of wives
Catty: Yeah, there's Leopard, Olivia, Blaze, Wave-
Feathershine: Wait, who's your wife?
Catty: Sushi!
Sushi: CATTY MY LOVE
Catty: *leaves promptly*
Mottledleaf: It appears Catty has flown away to a faraway land to hide from you, Sushi
Sushi: Well then, I guess I need another wife! Hazel, suggestions?
Hazel: Feathershine
Feathershine: what
Sushi: FEATHERSHINE MY LOVE
Feathershine: FOR FU-
Sushi has many wives.
Hazel
YOU ARE READING
A Counseling Catastrophe
HumorWhen the owner of a quaint counseling business mysteriously dies, Feathershine is left to take her aunt's burden on her shoulders. The dementia-ridden Fireheart, Nettlebounce and Petalbounce, and sometimes Sandstone, if she shows up to work, are the...
