A Counseling Catastrophe

Chapter Twenty-Seven

A half-moon glowed on smooth "granite" IKEA desks, turning them silver. The silence was broken only by the bubble of water from the dispenser with those little plastic cups, and the whisper of trees in the street outside.

There was a stirring in the shadows, and from all around lithe dark shapes crept stealthily under the desks. Unsheathed claws glinted in the moonlight. Wary eyes flashed like amber. And then, as if on a silent signal, the creatures leaped at each other, and suddenly the office was alive with wrestling, screeching cats.

At the center of the frenzy of fur and claws, a thick-furred brown tabby pinned a lithe tortoiseshell to the ground and drew up her head triumphantly. "Mottledleaf!" the tabby growled. "How dare you order Hawaiian pizza? Pineapple on pizza is blasphemy against all that is right in this world!"

"After tonight, Feathershine, pineapple will grace every pizza to enter this office!" the tortoiseshell she-cat spat back.

A warning yowl came from the door, shrill and anxious. "Look out! More pro-pineapple warriors are coming!"

Feathershine turned to see masses of cats pushing their way through the door and the windows, breaking the anti-pineapple line of defence. The pro-pineapple warriors bounded silently up the stairs and hurled themselves into battle without even stopping to fix their ruffled fur.

The fluffy tabby glared down at Mottledleaf. "You may have a majority on your side, but pineapple and pizza will never belong together!" She drew back her lips and showed her teeth as the cat struggled beneath her.

The desperate scream of an anti-pineapple she-cat rose above the clamor. A wiry pro-pineapple tom had pinned the cream tabby warrior flat on her belly. Now he lunged toward her neck with pineapple juice and tomato base still rubbed into the fur under his jaw

Feathershine heard the cry and let go of Mottledleaf. With a somewhat-feeble-but-not-ineffective leap, she knocked the enemy warrior away from the she-cat. "Quick, Sandstone, run!" she ordered, before turning on the pro-pineapple tom who had threatened her. Sandstone scrambled to her paws, wincing from a deep gash on her shoulder, and raced away.

Behind her, Feathershine spat with rage as the pro-pineapple tom sliced open her nose. Blood blinded her for an instant, but she lunged forward regardless and sank her teeth into the hind leg of her enemy. The pro-pineapple cat squealed and struggled free.

"Feathershine!" The yowl came from a warrior whose gender Feathershine could never really determine. "This is useless! There are too many pro-pineapple warriors!"

"No, Petalpounce. We will never be beaten - they will never be right!" Feathershine yowled back, leaping to Petalpounce's side. "Pineapple and pizza is just wrong!" Blood was welling around her muzzle, and she shook her head impatiently, scattering scarlet drops onto the desk.

"The anti-pineapple warriors will honor your courage, Feathershine, but we cannot afford to lose any more of our warriors," Petalpounce urged. "Nettlebounce would never expect her warriors to fight against these impossible odds. We will have another chance to avenge this defeat." He met Feathershine's yellow-eyed gaze steadily, then reared away and sprang onto a light fitting at the edge of the room.

"Retreat, anti-pineapple warriors! Retreat!" he yowled. At once his warriors squirmed and struggled away from their opponents. Spitting and snarling, they backed toward Petalpounce. For a heartbeat, the pro-pineapple cats looked confused. Was this battle so easily won? Then Mottledleaf yowled a jubilant cry. As soon as they heard her, the pro-pineapple warriors raised their voices and joined their leader in caterwauling their victory, opening their boxes of pizza, letting the sweet scent of warm pineapple fill the room.

Petalpounce looked down at his warriors. With a flick of his tail, he gave the signal and the anti-pineapple cats dived down the far side of the office, then disappeared down the stairs.

Feathershine followed last. She hesitated at the top of the staircase and glanced back at the bloodstained battlefield. Her face was grim, her eyes furious slits. Then she leaped after her fellow warriors into the street outside, to order pizza out of their own pockets, rather than the office's pizza budget.

This slightly unorthodox chapter was written by Leafyyyy
(pineapple on pizza is the best, fight me)