Fuckboy✖️ mendes

25

Shawn's POV

I looked over at her sleeping and smiled. My smile quickly faded away when I thought about the future. I know soon she's gonna change her mind soon and not wanna be with me again. It seems I cannot look on the bright side anymore everything's negative. I haven't been happy with myself in so long. I know I can't tell Maggie, how would she be able to deal with me? It really upsets me that I know I can't tell her these things and even if she doesn't see it this was she kinda makes it about herself. If anyone is feeling down they go to her and they feel happy and in a great mood after they talk, if i'm even down for a second she thinks i'm gonna to kill myself like Nash did and she has to watch my every move, That's why lately i've been hiding it from everyone. I just wish I had someone to talk to, besides Nash of course but he doesn't give a verbal response and it hurts because he would know what to do. I just want to be able to know i'm going to be happy in the future. Maggie my soulmate is definitely going to leave and one of these times she's not going to come back. I know i'm young but there is not a single person in this world i'd rather fight, love, and laugh with, she's my bestfriend. If I lose her i'd be losing my world. I know she's gonna get bored of me and she's gonna leave. One day I won't be able to sing anymore or write songs and that kills me inside, everyone will forget about me. My friends have their own life, they're all still living here but for how long? They're all gonna leave me too. Thinking about this everyday all day really makes me just want to explode. I get up and walk to the door.
The light turns on.
"Baby, where are you going?"
"Out Maggie." I don't turn around, if she sees my face she'll tell i'm crying.
"Shawn, its 3 in the morning! Where in the hell could you possibly be going?"
"Like I said out Maggie."
"Look at me when i'm talking to you Shawn. What the hell is going on?!"
I open the door a little more and take a step and a deep breath before walking about. But, of course Maggie comes running out following me. I run down the stairs. But she catches me.
"Shawn if you doing fucking stop and tell me what's going on, why are you crying?"
"Leave me alone Maggie I don't wanna be near you."
"Shawn I don't care who you want to me near, if you don't tell me—"
"What if I don't Maggie what are you gonna do leave me? Yeah we're dating right now but in fi last few months you broke up with me 5 times Mag. 5 times! I deserved our break up from a while ago, I have no memory of it but I cheated. I did and it had to be the stupidest thing of my entire life. I'm in love with you Maggie, I understand couples go through things but in the last couple months 5 times you've broken up with me for little petty arguments. I don't even know how many times i've asked you to be mine again! We've been doing really good lately Maggie but in the last couple weeks we've just not been talking. It's been hurting me. I always think to myself you're gonna leave me one day and you're not gonna come back but maybe it's me who's not gonna come back Maggie maybe it's me!" The tears are rolling down both our faces.
"Shawn I don't even know what to say. I haven't been doing the best job as your girlfriend and I definitely don't appreciate you enough and i'm so sorry Shawn. You deserve so much, you've always been here for me and it sucks seeing that i'm just realizing that you've been keeping everything in. Shawn I don't ever want to lose you, I don't even know how I would mange without you."
I take a deep breath and I know this is gonna hurt so bad but, I need to do it.
"Well you're gonna need to learn to." After that I just walk out.