Allure | Stilinski [1]

ELEVEN ➳ NEVER WILL

"So, are you having fun?"

Rowan smiled from her seat on the couch. The whole apartment smelt of cigarette smoke and cheap alcohol as she downed another cup of tequila. Afterwards, she gave the boy a sultry smile before leaning in to press her lips against his. It was a chaste kiss, but a kiss from Rowan nonetheless.

A kiss from her was like a blessing from Jesus Christ himself. She was an untouchable back in New York. Only a handful of boys have had the pleasure of hooking up with Rowan, and the boys who did have never been the same afterwards. Rowan was like a goddess to them, and nothing else. Not a human being, nor girlfriend material.

"The best of fun," she whispered against his lips, pulling away. Her eyelids drooped slightly as the boy with the stark blonde hair smirked.

Grabbing the drunken girl's chin, he pulled her mouth back onto his. People around them cheered loudly as he grabbed her waist and pulled her onto his lap. Rowan felt alive as her hands raked through his mess of dirty blonde locks.

This is what she wanted. Her parents, mostly Grayson, did not want her anywhere near this party tonight, but here she was. After climbing down her fire escape in heels, her and her best friend snuck out to attend this party.

Rowan was never much of a party girl, yet she found herself longing to go to this one because a certain boy was going to be there. He was so cute with his alluring, blue eyes and boyish smile. When the opportunity to make out with him was presented to her, Rowan just couldn't help herself.

Despite the loud hollers of everyone else at the party, the boy dragged her through the hallway leading to a bedroom. As soon as they entered, he pushed Rowan down onto the bed with a smirk. Her intoxicated mind caused her to giggle as he hovered above her, pressing kisses against her collar bones.

She sighed in satisfaction. Why would her family want to keep her from having this much fun?

"Take your shirt off," he whispered and Rowan's blood ran cold.

"What if I don't want to?" she asked. The boy's head popped back up from her neck with furrowed eyebrows. Rowan didn't know what else to do in this situation, but continue to act seductive. She trailed her finger to her lips, running her thumb across her bottom lip.

The boy above her smiled down at her once he realized what he thought she meant. "Then, I'll take it off for you." His calloused hands gripped the hem of her shirt, and Rowan shook her head.

"Okay, but what if I seriously don't want to?"

Worry was now intricately lacing her words as she placed her delicate hands on the boy's own. He continued to think she was joking as he roughly tore at the fabric.

From its thin stitching, it ripped easily and Rowan freaked out. She pushed him off of her immediately and covered her torso with the blanket on the bed. The boy was confused, but mostly livid.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" he seethed, standing up from the bed to pace the room. Rowan flickered her gaze towards the door, wondering if she should just run. She has never seen him this angry.

"I-I'm just not r-ready to do that with yo—"

He slammed his fist against the wall, causing Rowan to shake in fear. "You're a fucking slut you know that? Leading me on, making me think you want to have sex, only to refuse right before we actually do it."

"What made you think I wanted to have sex with you?"

"You're hot. I'm hot. What more do you need?" he spat. "Listen, I don't even like you. You were just another girl to fuck. So unless you're not willing to put out like a little fucking bitch, get the hell out of here—

Rowan's eyes snapped open as she shot up in bed. Her hand clutched her chest like her hands grasped the bedsheets to her torso in her dream. The clock showed that it was well after school.

She fell back into the covers, tossing and turning until she lied on her back, staring at the ceiling. Ms. Martin let the two girls stay home after the incident from last night, and they were both coping differently.

While Lydia downed medication to settle her nerves, Rowan has been taking naps to avoid her responsibilities. Each time she closed her eyes, she witnessed a memories from different times of her life in New York City. This hasn't happened before, so she didn't know what to do.

Fearing the darkness, Rowan lied awake now, squeezing her eyes shut and reopening them to make sure that this was her reality. If it was, it was a sick and twisted one she wanted no part of.

I'm Rowan Bauer. I'm sixteen years old. My family is dead. I live with the Martins.

Her heart began to race as she thought more and more.

My family is dead. I wish I was dead. I live with the Martins. I live in Beacon Hills.

Rowan's clenched her eyes shut, trying to stop the words from entering her mind. Flashes of memories from her family, her friends, her childhood displayed themselves behind her eyelids.

I live in Beacon Hills. I saw a mountain lion. I saw a—

A big, black furry monster ran across her mind just like it did last night. It snarled and it growled as it approached her. Its red eyes held fires from hell and it came so close to Rowan. Its fur even grazed her arm as it sprinted past.

I saw a mountain lion. I saw a cougar. I saw a—

Rowan could hear its breathing echo off of her bedroom walls. She had this feeling of dread that this animal was lurking in the shadows of the room.

A cougar. A mountain lion. An actual animal that exists.

Rowan's eyes snapped open once again in fear as she kicked at her sheets and cowered in her bed. She pressed her back against the headboard and her knees against her chest as she tried to steady her erratic beating. She almost cried. The tears were threatening to fall, but Rowan shoved those emotions so far down her throat that all she felt at the moment was numb.

"I didn't see a mountain lion," she told herself, trying to push out the voices in her head with her own voice.

I need a glass of water. Rubbing her hand over her tired face, Rowan climbed out of bed. She shivered when her feet made contact with the cold, hardwood floor. She slipped her slippers on and stretched her body, her tank top rising slightly to expose her tan stomach.

She didn't bother to fix it, comfortable to walk around the house like a slob. Rowan opened her bedroom door slowly, and walked past Lydia's room to stop suddenly.

"Mm, stay," Lydia slurred.

At first, Rowan thought her best friend was just extra loopy on her drugs, so she ventured towards the staircase. That is, until she heard Stiles's voice.

"M-Me? Stay? You want me to stay?"

Freezing in her tracks, Rowan inched back over to the Lydia's bedroom door. It was ajar, slightly open and she softly pushed it. The door didn't creek and Rowan was instantly met with the sight of Lydia leaning into Stiles, her hands holding his face.

"Yes, please. Stay. Please," she whispered, inching her face closer to Stiles.

His breathing turned heavy as the girl of his dreams was so close to just kissing him. Rowan felt like a creep watching so she slowly closed the door, not wanting to see any more of that or any more of Stiles.

Rowan tried to clear her mind, but she just couldn't. She propped herself up against Lydia's bedroom door and tugged at her messy hair before sighing to herself. It'll be okay, she told herself. But as she spoke those words, her heart continued to break. It won't be okay. Will it?

She stomped down the stairs, hoping that the two of them heard, and got herself a glass of water. Even with her heart slowly breaking at the idea of her crush being in love with her best friend, Rowan didn't cry.

It seemed that she never will.

➳ ➳ ➳

didnt really like this chapter but oh well :/