Name: Sirius Karin Wares Interesting
Origin of nameSirius - At the hospital, after Sirius was born, the nurse asked her mother, Christine, what the baby was named. Her mother, mistaking the question for what's the father's name, said Sirius. The name stuck.Karin - Karin was Sirius's mother's older sister, who died of a HIV AIDS several years before Siri was born. Ok
Also known as: Wares (most of the hogwarts populace), Siri (people close enough to call her by her first name), Mudblood (Malfoy and some of the other pureblood supremacists)
Gender: Female
Date of Birth: 25th October 1979 Good. You've researched what year it was set in.
Ethnicity: English - but with African descent Original
Blood Status: Half-Blood (but unaware of the Wizarding world until age 11)
House: Slytherin This house is used quite a lot, but as long as it fits her traits, it's fine. It's got to be used sometimes right?
Wand: Spruce - A wand not meant for wizard/witches who are nervous and unconfident. The spruce wand requires a firm hand, because it often appears to have its own ideas about what magic it ought to be called upon to produce. However, when a spruce wand meets its match, it becomes a superb helper, intensely loyal to their owners and capable of producing particularly flamboyant and dramatic effects. Phoenix Feathers - Phoenix feathers are capable of the greatest range of magic, though they may take longer than either unicorn or dragon cores to reveal this. They show the most initiative, sometimes acting of their own accord. The feather's from this wand came from a Phoenix which died off many centuries ago.13 inches and Pliant. Her wand is very hard to master, and does not truly yield its full potential to Siri until The Battle of Hogwarts. This means that spellcasting is very difficult for her. Wow, you've clearly done lots of research. Good job!
Age in the book: Same as Harry and Co. Does she become part of the golden trio?
Friends: Maxim Prewett (OC) - son of Irisabella Moody and Alabaster Prewett - great nephew of Alastor Moody. His parents were part of the Order of the Phoenix. He sat with Siri on the train. Though he was sorted into Hufflepuff, he and Siri remain very close friends. Like the chapter before, I can't say anything as they're OC's
Era: Golden Trio Era
Relations: Christine Wares - A muggle prostitute who kept Siri not wanting to give her up for adoption. An exotic beauty, with the street name of 'Vixen'. Died in 1987, when Siri was seven. Sirius Black - Her biological father. Only realising they were related in Siri's fifth year. They do not have a proper father-daughter relationship, as neither truly wanted or needed that kind of relationship. Therefore they are more 'mates' than family.
Backstory: She was born after Sirius Black visited an illegal underground brothel while drunk. As Christine Wares' sister, Karin, managed to be a prostitute and still managed to raise Christine, she wanted to do the same. Due to Christine being a very popular employer, the Pimp of the brothel allowed Siri to stay. Siri went to a poor school and made her keep by working around the brothel. She had a proficient talent at cooking and was often seen in the kitchen. In mid-1986, the police raided the brothel Siri lived in. Siri and her mother were lucky to get out unharmed, but they had no place to stay and no source of income. Fortunately Christine managed to snag the attention of another Pimp and she began working at another brother. This Pimp was not as kind as the last and in early 1977, he sold Siri off to be a child prostitute in Central-Europe. When a burly man came to take Siri away, her mother put herself between Siri and the man. The man told Christine to move, but she didn't budge - even when the man pulled a gun on her. The man ended up shooting Christine in the head, killing her.Due to Christine having a small amount of magic in her veins, she accidentally casted the sacrificial protection spell on Siri. When the man tried to touch Siri, he could terribly burnt: that caused him to drop the gun. Siri picked it up and aimed it at the man's forehead. The man came closer to Siri, claiming she wouldn't kill him. Scared out of her life she pulls the trigger - killing the man. Shocked at what she had done, she freaked out. SHe began throwing up and going into shock, but in her panicked state she ran out of the brothel. From there, she began living on the streets, doing anything to make a living stealing stuff and selling gum packets. I don't know how to say this. It's unoriginal, yet really original at the same time. Being an orphan/homeless is really overdone, but I think you've done it well in a way that they actually have a reason to be like that, not just magically thrown out on the street.
Hair: Almost completely shaved off and ebony black
Eyes: Grey
Skin Colour: She has quite a dark skin tone
Height: At age 11, she is very short for her age, but as she goes through puberty she grows to be average height Good
Extra features: She has very large eyebrows, almost forming a monobrow. The take up a significant amount of her forehead. Okay. She has flaws.
Love Interest: N/A
Personality:Cynical | Living on the streets has made Siri very suspicious of the motives behind others actions. It is very hard for her to trust anyone other than herself.Loyal (only conditionally) | Though she doesn't trust very many people, those she does trust she would almost die for. But she has no loyalty to others she doesn't know nor trusts.Shameless | As she has had to fend for herself, Siri has almost no pride. She used to get most of her food from out of a garbage bin. She would to anything and anyone to get what she wants. She is also not afraid to take charity, or steal money off people she doesn't like. She is also not too above taking bribes.Observant | Siri is very good at reading people. She enjoys looking for little quirks and movements in other's faces and body to help discern their motivations, whether their lying or - in the twin's case - figure which one's Fred and which one's George.Easily changeable | When given no reason to stay on a particular side, she changes sides with ease, sometimes betraying both. But if she is given a solid reason to stay on one side, she will remain there.Paranoid | as she is very observant, she often reads too much into things. She comes up with conspiracies that don't quite make sense to other people. Explicit | She has almost no censor on her words, and curses like a sailor. This quirk is lessened the more she stays at hogwarts though, as they are very stern on language, but it never disappears.Brave | As she is cautious by nature, she rarely ever is brave. But there are times where she pushes past her fear to do the right thing. She never does this to show off or to be reckless, only when something needs to be done and only she can do it or if it is in her self-interest to be brave. Wow, lots of detail!!
Intelligence: As she didn't go to school after her mother died when she was seven, Siri is lacking in education. She cannot read very well, only able to comprehend basic written words and sentences. But what she lacks in academics, she makes up for in her manipulative and questionable tendencies. She is a con-man by nurture. She is a smooth speaker, and although she has not gone to school, she had picked up sayings and words from the adults around her. Her academic intelligence is a major setback for her at Hogwarts though, and she usually gets low grades in every exam that is not practical. She privately inform her teachers of this and they set her up with a private tutor. For the first four years, she has only gotten two relatively high grades, which both were practical exam/assignments. This is good.
Favourite Subject: Potions. As she was quite skillful at cooking, potions comes relatively easy for her. Not only does it not involve spellcasting, the reasons behind the ingredients in each potion - and why you should slice not crush - makes sense to her. Ok
Extra Info: The only fact Siri knows about her father is that he is handsome, has the same eye color, black hair and name as her and has tattoos. As her mother used to sing it to her, she can sing most of the lyrics of 'Scarborough Fair' off by heart Cool
All in all, Sirius is a pretty good character. She has both flaws and things that she's good at. Although she's had a bad past, which is very overdone, I think you've done it quite well. I can't really give you tips to improve as getting rid of her bad past would impact the whole story. I'd also like to give you a MASSIVE pat on the back for all of the time and effort you've put in to writing this. Everything is so detailed and you've clearly done a lot of research, not only in the major things, but in the less important things as well like the wand wood and core.
Mary Sue rating- 5%
Overall grade: A
Good job!!!
A/N I'm gonna put this in all of the chapters, but I am currently taking members for my brand new book club. If you want to get your book recognised with some votes and constructive comments, go ahead and find the 'fanfiction book club' on my profile page and read the rules! Thanks!
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Harry Potter OC Reviews {open}
RandomEveryone hates Mary-Sues, and that's a well known fact. We all say that, but half of our own characters are Mary-Sues and we don't even realise it until someone says in the comments "wait, how are they able to do magic that advanced in their first y...
