Name: Autumn Jewel Fisher I feel like the season names are a little overdone, so you might want to think about that.
Gender: Female
Ethnicity: Australian If she lives in the UK, then that's fine.
Blood Status: Pure blood Fisher isn't on the list on known pure blood names, but if you're making a whole new family then that's cool.
House: Slytherin
Wand: Walnut, Unicorn hair, 12 1/4"
Age in the book: 16+ [ Autumn enters the story in book two ]
Friends (canon): Daphne Greengrass
Friends (OC): Becca Russell, Rachel Winston, Angela McAllister, Jack Lane, Gavin Robbin, Allan Jones, Jenna Hart (Jenna is her best friend)
Era: Golden Trio
Relations: None
Personality: mostly a b*tch to everyone she sees, but she's somewhat nice to her friends, considering they are in other houses (Jenna is Slytherin too, but everyone else is in a different house) She is a mother figure to Becca, she's always been there to either hold Becca's hand or use her own hand to smack some sense into her (I know it doesn't exactly make sense of a Slytherin being a mother figure, but I couldn't use anyone else..) These are some slightly cliché Slytherin traits, but I'm sure it'll be fine.
Good traits: clever, fast thinker, natural leader, and mother-like (ONLY towards Becca)
Flaws: snappy, jumps to conclusions too quickly, ambitious, resourceful (sometimes cunning?) Okay, so being ambitious, resourceful and cunning are not flaws, so you'll need to think of a few more here.
Hair: brown
Eyes: brown
Height: 4'10" That's extremely short for a 16+. It's also quite cliché to have a very short character. Considering the average for a British female is 5'6 you may want to consider changing this.
Extra Features: sometimes wears eyeliner (black cat/winged eyeliner)
Love Interest: Cassia (my friend's OC)
Anything else: her father is of Italian heritage and her mother of Chinese. she hates books, studying, and homework. her faceclaim is Natasha Liu Bordizzo1 Cool, so she's from all over the world! As long as she has lived in England, she should be good to go.
You seem to have made a good start of developing your OC Autumn! She's got some basic good traits and flaws with her personality. I really like the fact that she just has simple brown hair and brown eyes, as that's the most common combination and you don't see many OCs with that. It would've been nice to hear her backstory, however if you haven't thought of one yet you can come back at anytime! To take your next step in improving your OC, perhaps add some more flaws. Being cunning, ambitious and resourceful are actually pretty good traits. Maybe you could look up a list of flaws online and pick out the ones you think would be most interesting to write about. You could also add some flaws with her looks if you wanted to. Also, it is very uncommon to be 4'10 seeing as the average height for a British female is 5'6, so you may want to change this. The personality is a little cliché for a Slytherin, it's up to you if you'd like to change this. You have a little way to go, but you've made a great start!
Mary-Sue rating- 35%
Grade- C
YOU ARE READING
Harry Potter OC Reviews {open}
RandomEveryone hates Mary-Sues, and that's a well known fact. We all say that, but half of our own characters are Mary-Sues and we don't even realise it until someone says in the comments "wait, how are they able to do magic that advanced in their first y...
