Harry Potter OC Reviews {open}

Toni Duarte

Name: Toni Duarte Good start!

Gender: they/them 

Ethnicity: South America (her family moved to Britain before she was born) Nice!

Blood status: muggleborn Ok

House: Hufflepuff Yas!!

Wand: black walnut wood, dragon heartstring, 11 3/4 inches, yieldingly flexible. Haven't heard of this before!

Age in the book: 15 (sixth year) 

Friends: Denna Soo (OC), Rowan Harris (OC), Loui Weasley, Lorcan and Lysander Scamander. (Still developing this area of the story.) Cool, a good balance of OC's and canon characters (so far!)

Era: second generation (roughly 2017) Makes sense

Relations: Antony Duarte (father), Yasmine Duarte (mother)

Personality: imaginative, trusting, warm, slightly selfish, excitable, loyal, oblivious, hard working.

Good traits: Toni always tries to make the most of each day. She is great at thinking outside the box.She is very observant. She is a good listener and is always there for her friends. She is accepting of others.

Bad traits: Easily disappointed. Stressed. Secretive. A bit of a pushover. Can't take criticism. Wants people to like her. Short temper with people she's close with. Quiet. Procrastinator. This is good!

Backstory: Toni had a very normal upbringing up until her eleventh birthday when she received her letter. She had shown small signs of being a witch but nothing that stood out too much to her parents. Once she got to Hogwarts, she was shocked by how old fashioned everything was. She often got in trouble for using pens instead of quills. She didn't want to use parchment either. She wanted to watch her favourite shows, stay up all night on her phone but she couldn't. So she worked for five years and finally managed to use technology without it being messed up by magic. She started a group with the other muggleborns and every Friday night they go to the room of requirement and have movie nights. They use their phones regularly and defiantly use pencils. Wow, that's interesting! I haven't heard of this sort of story idea before!

Hair: brown, like a pixie cut but bigger. 

Eyes: brown Nice and normal!

Height: average Great!

Extra features: always wears hoop earrings. Wears eyeliner. Very messy hair but it's short so no one really takes notice. OK

Wow! I think this is one of the most normal OC's I've seen in this book so far! It's great that you made her like this as it opens up so many doors later on in the book. Whether the overall plot of the book ends up being cliché or not, it won't matter as your OC is so normal, meaning that nobody will mind. Maybe consider adding a couple of flaws with her looks like freckles, glasses etc... That's about it really- your character's perfect (but not in a Mary-Sue way)!

Mary-Sue rating- Pretty much 0% as long as there's more flaws with the looks.

Grade- A+

A/N I'm gonna put this in all of the chapters, but I am currently taking members for my brand new book club. If you want to get your book recognised with some votes and constructive comments, go ahead and find the 'fanfiction book club' on my profile page and read the rules! Thanks!