BLAKE

Chapter 8

Liam

I had no choice than to be hard on her, I thought, as I watched her run out of my house. I can see, by the way she looks at me, that there's something more than friendship. I don't want to get her hopes up, I can't get involved with anyone. I'm not a loving person, I'm not someone she can be in love with, she needs to understand that.

What I did yesterday, letting her sleep here in my bed, in my arms... It can't happen again, even thought it was not as unpleasant as I thought it would be...

I need to get her out of my head and she needs to do the same. I should have never made this stupid bet with Jay. 

After Blake was gone, I took a shower and I headed to the trailer park. 

This is where I work, where most of my boss' men live. It's a big empty lot with many caravans. This is where the poorest among us live. This is probably where I'll end up sooner or later if I don't make enough money.

Of course, our boss doesn't live here, he just comes here for business, this is where we keep all the drugs, and you can say I'm his right arm. I've been involved with this gang since I'm 15 so boss trusts me now. Even though I deal and I torture, I have never killed anyone. I'm not a murderer and I don't plan on becoming one soon. Boss has his own men for that, he doesn't need me for this kind of task and I'm more than fine with it. 

Anyway, it was a day like any other, I got the drugs and then I went to my spot, in town, to sell them. 

Nothing unusual except that I couldn't stop thinking about Blake.

God I just want to smash my head against a wall, to get her out of my thoughts.

Why am I even thinking about her? She has nothing special. I tried to convince myself. 

Whatever, once my job done, I brought the money to my boss and I went home. 

"Where have you been?" My mother asked annoyed, as soon as I walked through the door. We don't see each other a lot as she works all the time, but when we do, it's always the same, she yells at me and it tends to upset me. 

I didn't bother to answer and I walked to my bedroom, I know she won't follow me, she knows it's useless.

My mother has three jobs, we are deeper in debts. I offered her to help her but she never accepted my help, she said she doesn't want to live on dirty money. What the hell? She doesn't even know what I do for living. To me, money is money, it doesn't matter the way I earn it. But to her, it's different, she'd like me to find a "real" job but to me it's a big no. I'm not going to have a pathetic little job and to get paid practically nothing when I can earn thousand of dollars working for the gang. 

I think my mother and I will never get along. Since my father died, everything has changed... But I don't even want to think about that. It brings back too many bad memories.

I lay down in my bed, closing my eyes, trying not to think about that and my thoughts were soon replaced by Blake. I can still smell her perfume on my sheets...

Damn what's wrong with me?! 

I guess I'm acting this way only because I didn't get what I wanted, Blake is not like the other girls, she didn't throw herself at me, she's innocent, I can see it. And innocent girls are not made for me... I would break her heart and I don't want to do that. Somehow, I don't want her to get hurt because of me. 

The next day, I went to school. So boring. I only go to please my mother, so she doesn't kick me out. As soon as I arrived, I joined Jay and Joane who were talking to each other.