BLAKE

Chapter 46

Blake 

The second I opened my eyes and saw Liam in that hospital room, I understood my secret had been revealed. 

The look on his face froze me, it was heartbreaking, I had never seen him this way before. 

I closed my eyes in pain, feeling the tears slowly slide down my cheeks. 

I didn't want to wake up. 

I wasn't supposed to wake up. 

"I'm here now. And I won't let anyone touch you again." He stated, squeezing my hand and I knew I was right, he knew about John.

I couldn't stop the tears from falling, I didn't want him to know, I didn't want him to look at me. 

He knew. 

It was my worst nightmare. 

Had Joane told him my secret? 

Probably...

And I couldn't manage to look at him anymore. 

"I promise." He almost whispered and event though my eyes were close, I could feel his burning stare on my skin. 

I don't know what the doctors gave me but I strangely felt at peace for a moment, just like I was floating, until sleep overtook me, finally. 

Next time I woke up I was lying in Liam's bed, still wearing my hospital gown. I frowned in confusion, wondering what I was doing here. 

"Hey..." I heard Liam's soft voice and I closed my eyes, still not wanting to see him. 

How can I look at him after everything that happened? How can he even stand to be here with me now that he knows the truth? Now that he knows that I'm a liar... 

I stare at the wall trying to clear my head, to not think about anything but it doesn't work. 

I should be dead. 
It would be best for everyone. 

And Liam would be safe...

If John finds out that he knows I can't even imagine what he's going to do to him... He's rich, he knows people and I don't want Liam to be in danger because of me. 

I should not be here.
It's too dangerous. 

"Blake please... Look at me..." I feel him sit on the bed next to me but I can't manage to look at him. I just want...

To disappear. 

I don't want to be here, I don't want to endure this anymore... This life... 

How am I supposed to live with myself? After I lied to everyone...

After I killed my baby... 

We were supposed to both die, we would be together now, no more lies, no more pain, no more suffering. 

Why am I still here? What's my purpose? 

"Blake please talk to me... I can hear anything..."

I can't talk. 

I am so ashamed of myself.

*****

It's been two days and I still haven't said a word.

I can't eat, I can't talk, I can't even look at him. 
I know he's desperate for me to give him a sign, I can hear him in his voice, I can feel it each time he tries to make me talk or eat something but I can't bear to look in those sad blue eyes.
I know if I look at him, all I will see is sadness, desperation... Pity.