Shai Soi

Chapter 28

I was sitting at the edge of a wooden pier. My arm was wrapped around Sadie's warm shoulders. She rested her head in the crook of my neck. Our feet dangled and made ripples in the lake below. We stared out at the water made red by the setting sun. Its fading heat warmed my cheeks. This was one of our favorite places to hang out.

Sadie sighed and rubbed her thumb over my hand. I loved it when she did that. "Nathaniel, you know this is all your fault."

"W-what?"

Sadie drew away, still holding my hand. Her eyes sparkled as she smiled. "It's all your fault. You abandoned me, you left  me there. For what? A girl you met a few weeks ago?"

Her expression didn't match her words. They dripped with betrayl. I wrapped my arms around her. "No, no I didn't."

Sadie laughed, a real breathtaking laugh. I used to love it when she'd laugh like that, but this time it stung my heart. "You choose her over me. Now, I'm prodded and observed. Those Namuhi overrun my boundaries, test my limits. I've already burned myself to the breaking point. Sometimes, I think of what you did and almost let myself burn out. It's better than having scientists cutting me open. And you know what?" She was still smiling. She looked so happy and carefree, but her words were filled with hatred. I shook my head, pulling her closer. "All of this pain could've been avoided. I could've gone home with you. We could've found our kin together. But you deserted me."

"N-no. I would never let anyone hurt you. No one would will hurt you, Bec." My tongue froze. Wait, what did I say? Bec? No, no I said Sadie. I had to have said Sadie. But I didn't. I looked at Sadie, but she wasn't there. My arm was now around Rebecca. Her eyes were glowing in the sunset. Her pearly whites gleamed. I could smell her shampoo- Coconut, which I usually didn't like, but for some reason it suited her. She leaned into me.

"It's your fault. All of it." My heart fractured. No, this didn't make sense. This wasn't happening. I tried pulling away. I tried waking myself out of this nightmare, but I squeezed Rebecca tighter. Her hair tickled my neck. She stared at the blood red water. Her foot kicked at it causing ripple after ripple after ripple...

I jolted. My damp hair matted my forehead. The sheets were soaked in sweat. The humming of the rain drummed at my windows. My heart pounded. I grasped at the details of the dream. There was Rebecca, and blood. Or was it water? What did she say? It was my fault? Did I hurt someone again? Did I hurt her?

I got up and snatched my phone. Unplugging from its charger I went to contacts. I know who could help me. Sadie always helped me with my nightmares... Sadie.  I dropped my phone. The memories of the raid rushed back. I felt like someone punched me in the gut. I couldn't breathe. No air got to my lungs. The more I gasped, the tighter my chest constricted. I couldn't call Sadie. She wasn't here. She was away getting tortured and experimented on, and cut open... My Sadie.

I stumbled, something was holding me back. I kicked my leg out. My wet sheets wrapped around my ankle. I kicked and fell. I didn't know I was thrashing until my lamp crashed to the floor. Carrie and Ed appeared in the doorway. Carrie came to me, putting my head in her lap. Her skin crumpled around her eyes and forehead. I hated making her worried. I hated how I made her kneel, knowing she could rarely get up by herself. I took deep breaths. Carrie's thin fingers tickled my face, she combed back my hair. I sat up and nodded when they asked if I was okay. I told them it was just another nightmare. That I was fine, and they should go back to sleep. Ed helped his wife up, shooting me a questioning glance. I stayed on the floor, back to my bed. "I'm okay." He nodded and led his weary wife back to their room. I stayed on the ground, resting my head against the bedside before putting my fists over my eyes.

What was I going to do?