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Chapter24~Hunter

"...That's why I'm trying to save you from making a huge mistake."

"Well maybe the only thing I need to be saved from is...is...you."

She said it. The words that broke my already fragile heart. 'She just confirmed my worst fear... she HATES me...'

She pushed past me and ran off to her room while I remained frozen where I stood.

'Hunter, you idiot!! You made her cry!! You're such a failure. No one likes you.' The harsh words from my past came back and made my head spin. I didn't know what to do or where to go. Where does a person go after their world comes crumbling down around them? Thoughts flashed through my head, some sending shivers down my spine.

After what felt like eternity, I stumbled to my bedroom. Thankfully, Eric and Shawn were sharing a room, so I could have time to think over everything alone.

I shut the door behind me and didn't even bother turning on the light. I already knew I wouldn't be getting any sleep that night so I didn't even bother trying. I simply brushed my teeth and but on some shorts. As I stared at my reflection, I saw a weak, scrawny boy staring back. I was already feeing so frustrated with myself and that wasn't helping my situation.

When some people are upset, they turn to drugs, or alcohol, or gambling to help them cope with their problems. But me, I work out. So, as you have probably already guessed, I did crunches until my stomach ached, squats until my legs burned, and one arm push ups until my arm gave out.

I lifted myself off of the floor and crawled onto the bed, not even bothering with the comforter.

I was so emotionally and physically exhausted, yet I couldn't close my eyes. I just sat in the darkness as the hours passed by painstakingly and slowly. I turned on the tv to Nickelodeon and let the Spongebob reruns play. But not even my favorite show could help me feel better. I was so sad that it felt like I was beyond depressed, whatever the next level is. I was so upset I couldn't even cry.

Around five in the morning, I finally decided to answer the obvious message everyone was trying to get across to me and to try and leave them alone. It would be so unbelievably difficult to do, but if it meant making the people I cared about the most happy, it was worth it.

After my mind came to that decision, I drifted off to sleep for about an hour before my alarm went off. 'Well, at least I got some sleep...'

As I rolled out of bed, I noticed my aching muscles from my workout the night before. And as weird as it sounds, I loved the pain. It was like a relieving distraction from my emotional pain.

I walked into the ensuite and looked in the mirror, cringing at the sight of my reflection. Purple bruises, results of a lack of sleep, were present beneath my eyes. My hair looked like a lion's mane that a three year old  had styled.

As I looked at my reflection, I was struck with the realization that I had woken up in a world where I knew for sure that I wasn't loved. A single tear slid down my cheek. All I ever wanted was to be liked, if not loved, but somewhere along the way I had screwed up. 'How did it take you so long to realize this? Are you that dense? High school dropout. Hey, how about you dropout of the band? Then everyone will be happy again because you ruin everything.'

I ruffled my crazy curls and hopped into the shower before I could break myself down anymore than I already had, if that was even possible. I started to sing 'Invisible' by 5SOS (Ash is obsessed with them so now I know all of their songs) but I stopped just after the second verse; I couldn't stand the sound of my own voice.

I stepped out of the shower and put on my black skinny jeans, plain white tee, and my cross necklace. I passed by the mirror without a glance, knowing I'd just be disappointed with the boy staring back.

I left my room and walked to the kitchen as memories of the night before flashed in my head and the numb feeling returned. I hopped onto one of the barstools lined up next to the island and studied the pink cast on my arm.

I was so deep in thought that I hadn't even noticed Eric and Shawn had entered the kitchen.

"Good morning, Hunter! How are you?" A large smile spread across Eric's face when he saw he had scared me.

I placed my hand over my heart and smiled back. "You really got me there."

"Yea, I thought we were being loud. You must've been pretty deep in thought to have not seen us. What's on your mind? You look upset."

'Don't bother them with your problems. No one wants to hear about those.'

"Uh...I can't say. Your birthday's coming soon." I smiled cheekily. Thankfully, I had managed to get out of that one.

"Ahhhhh, I see. Surprises. Gotcha." Eric grinned.

Then, I noticed Shawn had disappeared. 'Where did he go?'

Seconds later, he came walking back into the kitchen. "Where did you go?" I asked.

"Just... taking some precautions."

"Okaaaaaaay, what kind of precautions?"

"You'll see." I gave him a funny look. I think it's fair to say I have mastered the art of pretending that I'm not broken; that I'm actually fine. No one notices. No one ever does.

"I'm hungry. I'm going to call room service." Eric got up and left the room.

"And this is when my precautions come into play." Shawn smirked.

As if on cue, Eric shouted, "Hey, where'd the phone go?"

Shawn snickered and replied, "We have to wait for the girls to order breakfast!!"

"WHAT?!" He ran back in the room. "That's ridiculous! You know how long they take to get ready in the morning!!!"

"Relax, they should be out soon. The makeup team is arriving in a little bit and the girls are never late for them."

"Grrrrrrr, fine." Eric sighed.

Then the two of them started talking about some of the places they wanted to visit once we headed out on our European tour.

I zoned out and pretended I was busy on my phone in a desperate attempt to keep my myself from bothering them.

Over the boys' loud talking, I heard what sounded like Ash's sweet voice. Sure enough, the girls were up and ready to start the day. I glanced at her once when she entered the room and I felt tears prick the back of my eyes. She was so beautiful, inside and out, but she hated me. As she should.

I stared back at my phone screen to keep myself distracted. No matter how much I wanted to apologize to her, I couldn't. I was scared.

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(A/N:)

Sorry it was sad and boring, it should be getting better!! Hopefully...😂

Thanks so much for reading I love you all!!💗

Would you rather live in the city, country, or suburbs? I'm a country kinda gal so that's where I'd live.🤠🍑

Catch you later!!

~T🍕🌅