RENAMED - Book Two In The Unknown Identity Series

Chapter 31 - Blow Up

Keith's POV

   Guilt.

  It's all I've been feeling for the past eighteen hours.

   Today was the day that I go to NanoTech with Adam. Today's the day that I see her. I can't imagine what her reaction is going to be.

   I can't even begin to think about it, she probably thinks I'm a lier, that I betrayed her. She has the right to think and feel these things because it's fifty percent my fault she doesn't have a family. The worst part, is that I knew that I killed her mom.

  I knew the second I met Jay that I killed her mother, not because Walker told me, but because they looked identical. Like twins. With long blonde hair and piercing beautiful green eyes. They were unmistakable.

   But now, all because of me, everything changed. The game board has shifted and now I'm the bad guy in the situation. I feel horrible for lying the way I did, but it was to protect myself. I didn't want people to shut me out. 

  I didn't want them to treat me differently, I didn't want them to treat me like the murderer I was. It was all because of my selfish fifteen year old mind wanting to hide my true identity. I wanted my identity to become unknown.

  I wanted my life to be a secret, that's why I refused to tell anyone about my past. Even when I told Jay about it, I still wasn't giving true facts about it. And it's despicable the things I did and the way I hurt the only one I love.

   I hurt Jay and I don't think she'll ever be able to forgive me for it. I was one of the reasons why her life was ruined. When I was hooked up the the system that overtook my brain, it didn't take complete control, I still was able to think freely.

  But because I was selfish, I still shot Sarah like I was supposed to out of fear that Walker might do something to me. All of these things happened because I was selfish. And the scars that line my chest, they were meant for pride, but instead I lied and said that they were marks I had received because of Walker and his abusive lifestyle.

   I tricked Jay into having sorrow for me, when really the scars represented something else: a ranking in my hostility, of my dangerousness.

***

   "So, thats why you've been like this the whole week?"

   I nod and stare out the back window.

   "I'm sorry, you know... that this happened to you."

   "It's my fault that it happened."

   "Don't beat yourself up for it Keith."

   "How can I not, Adam! I ruined her life! I tricked her into feeling sorrow for me! I caused her pain! I probably shouldn't have even fallen in love with her because, the whole time... I knew it was going to cause her nothing but pain, and I ruined her life! I destroyed it! and I don't think I can be forgiven! If I cant even forgive myself, then how can she do it?!" I yell from the back seat. I want to take my anger out on something, someone.

   I want this all to be done. I want to go back to days where we all got along and lived life peacefully, where my life didn't ruin anyone else's.

   I sat back in the seat, tugging at my hair in frustration.

   "Calm down it's al-"

   "It's not alright! I ruined her one shot of getting to know her family! I'm doing nothing but causing her pain!" I snap.

   "Well don't take your anger out on me! I didn't do it!"

   "Oh alright. Fine. You don't understand what it feels like to have someone else's life in your hands Adam!"

   "Don't expect me to feel bad for you when you did nothing but wrong!"

   "I'm not!" I shout, harshly throwing my head in my hands, resisting the urge to not punch the seat in front of me.

   Before we left the hose, I insisted on sitting in the back for this reason, so I don't accidentally lose my temper and punch him, causing him to lose control.  I sat in the middle and watched as the scenery whizzed by out the windshield.

   I was trying so hard to calm down. I didn't feel like doing anything but getting to her. We sat in a comfortable silence until Adam broke it.

   "Look I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you it's just-"

   "I know, I didn't mean to either. My emotions are a mess and I feel like a wreck. I can't think straight anymore. I just can't, knowing that I might be the reason I lost Jay permanently. But I know the reason why Walker is doing this. I know exactly why..."

  "Why?" Adam asks.

   "He knows I'm dangerous, and he knows that I'm the only one capable of the five that can spill the secrets of the company and ruin their progress. So, he's trying to turn the one I love against me so that she can get rid of me herself."

   "Why can't Walker, you know, do it if he wants you gone so bad."

   "Because, I'm his son and if he did, the government would find out pretty quickly because they know about all the things he does. He was caught and was on watch, and if he kills me then he will go to jail and his company would permanently be shut down, and his progress will be lost."

   "Wait a second... one thing still doesn't make sense, why didn't the government just shut down the cooperation right then and there?"

   "They only know half of the things that NanoTech does, and the things they found out weren't bad enough to shut down the company completely. The stuff they did find out, must have been the basics, though I don't exactly know what they found out."

   Adam just nods and focuses on the road. The silence returns to the car once again, but it didn't last long.

   "I think I know who the traitor is..."

  "Who?"

  "W-"

The name was about to slip off his tongue when the car went airborne. My body was picked up and thrown against the other side f the car, then we started in a rolling descend down somewhere. A piercing scream filled the vacant air and everything stopped.

There we lay, in the car, my vision getting blurry. Black dots were everywhere.

We've been hit.

"J-Jay."

_________