Too Far From Texas

Chapter Nine

I felt sick. I wasn't sure how much sleep I'd actually managed to get, but I knew I'd gotten up to go to the bathroom three times, and laid in the bed staring into the darkness for so long that my thoughts had started to get twisted.

Lorelei was quiet during breakfast, smiling and nodding to the handful of things I was willing to share, though her looks at me over the table told me she was dying to get the details. Finally during our cab ride to the bookstore, she nudged me.

"Alright, spill."

"Spill what?"

"What exactly happened? I'm assuming you stayed the night, but the fact that you don't have the most lovestruck, goofy look on your face tells me something's off."

I looked down at my lap. Lorelei leaned closer.

"Is he not that good?" she whispered.

I eyed her, then sighed. "No, that's not it."

"Really? 'Cause I mean...it happens. He wouldn't be the first man not to live up to expectations."

"He..." I gazed out the window, "he exceeded my expectations."

"Wow! Seriously? Hot damn!"

I shook my head.

"Are you sore? Is that it? Sometimes when I'm with a guy who's...kinda big...I feel off kilter for a few days. Like I'm totally blissed out, but also raw. What I do is soak in a hot tub and then lie down with a pillow between -"

"Lor!" I interrupted. "I didn't sleep with him."

"What?"

"Well...technically I did sleep with him. But we didn't have sex."

"Why not?"

"Because..." I sighed again. "Emery was sick."

"Wait, what?"

"Tod called me. Emery had a high fever and he was worried, and of course that got me worried ten times more because he never worries about shit."

"Oh, God!"

"I kept my phone next to me so he could keep me updated, but here I was on this amazing date with this amazing man. And I knew, Lor, I knew I was gonna sleep with him. I was ready. But I just...couldn't."

"Well of course not! Your baby was sick! Plus you were having to talk to your ex on the phone. Who the hell can concentrate on sex when that shit's going on?"

I widened my eyes. "Thank you!"

"Wait, was he mad?"

"Who?"

"Harry. Was he mad you didn't have sex?"

"No," I shook my head. "Well, he said it was okay. He'd wanted me to stay though. And I know it had to hurt when I said no."

"You probably bruised his ego."

"I didn't mean to." I swallowed hard. "There's more."

"More?"

"I had another dream."

"A dream about Harry?"

"Yes," I nodded. "While I was with him. We'd fallen asleep after Tod had called to say Emery was okay, and I woke up shaking."

"And?"

"The Harry part was...sweet. I was happy. It was my birthday and he'd asked me to marry him."

"Oh my God!" Lorelei squealed.

"It sounds ludicrous now. But I remember feeling amazingly happy in the dream. Then Tod showed up and told me I'd never truly be happy."