Too Far From Texas

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Harry was quiet during breakfast. He was quiet while I packed and when he took my bags and carried them downstairs. It wasn't until I joined him in the living room after making sure I had everything that I finally noticed the pained expression in his eyes.

"Harry..." I whispered, swallowing the lump in my throat.

"God, I hate this part," he choked, blinking hard and looking at the floor.

"I know," I agreed.

He let out a deep breath and shoved his hands in his pockets. "This is even harder than last time."

I nodded, my nose twitching with the threat of tears. I scratched it, pretending that it was only an itch. When I lowered my hand, Harry stepped closer and reached for me. Taking me into his arms, he pressed me against his chest so tightly I could barely breathe. I wound my arms around his back, taking in his scent in order to make a memory. I needed to remember this feeling, his aroma, his heartbeat.

"Have a wonderful tour, sugar," I whispered as I ran my hands up and down his back. "You're going to be amazing."

His chest shook with heavy breaths and he kissed the top of my head.

"Baby, I'm gonna miss you so much," he declared.

"Harry," I warned. "I thought we weren't going to say things like that."

"Can't help it now."

I lifted my face to look at his. Two wet tears trickled down his cheeks and I brought my fingers to them to wipe them away. It shook me to the core to see him cry.

"Stacey, I..." he began with a pause. "I feel like there's so much I haven't said."

I tilted my head. "Like what?"

"I..." Harry seemed to search for his answer but found none. "I dunno. But I worry I've run out of time."

I sucked in my lips, unsure how to respond. Finally I shook my head and ran my palms down his chest.

"If you think of it...I'll just be a phone call away."

"Nothing for me," I shook my head when the flight attendant asked if I wanted anything to drink.

I bundled myself in my hoodie, the only jacket I'd thought to bring with me as I turned my head back to the right, grateful for the window seat. I blew my nose again in my ratted up tissue, knowing I'd have to grab another from my purse soon.

My chest shook as I began to sob again, recalling our goodbyes. I wished I'd said something else, something more, something different. But then again, I knew if I had, I'd have watched my world crash and shatter all around me. Perhaps not quite that dramatically, but I knew it had been best not to try to pull words out of Harry that he wasn't ready to say. Or worse, watch him come to the realization that this relationship wasn't going to work.

He had so much going for him. He was going to embark on his first solo tour, first of many I was sure. I was going back home to my family, to my job and my writing. I wondered for a fleeting second as I gazed out the window of the plane if Harry would eventually forget about me if I didn't make any contact of my own. It was a selfish and self-deprecating thought, but one that made me wonder nonetheless.

I thought of the look on his face when I'd released my hand from his grip and followed the driver to the car as he loaded my suitcase into the trunk. Harry looked as though he still had something on the tip of his tongue, but couldn't quite form the words on his lips. He gave a tight smile as he blinked rapidly and waved at me from the doorway. I was holding back my own tears as I sat in the back seat, hoping the driver would drive away before I did something stupid like run back into his arms and tell him I never wanted to leave him.