Chapter 17.

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Dylan's P.O.V

"Will you still love me when I'm no longer young and beautiful

Will you still love me when I got nothing but my aching soul

I know you will, I know you will

I know that you will.

Will you still love me when I'm no longer young and beautiful."

Lana Del Rey songs blast into my ears from the ear buds Jc got me. I've spent almost two days here and Digi is tomorrow. I still have no idea what's going on and I want answers. Connor and Jc spent the night in my room on their own gurneys which were taken out at five in the morning, leaving them to sleep on the uncomfortable chairs.

A nurse comes in and I take out my headphones as fast as I can. "Please." I start. "What's wrong with me?"

"Doctor Drae will be with you soon and explain." She takes out my I.V, which hurt a lot, then walks out. Leaving me alone again. The boys are at their house taking showers and changing into new clothes.

"Dylan?" I hear a knock on the door and see my doctor poke his head inside. He was actually quite young. I found out that he just graduated med school at the age of 27. His blonde hair is going in all directions. It's messy but then it's neat at the same time. He runs a hand through his hair before sitting in a chair next to my bed.

"I don't want to make his awkward." He laughs. "I was your age less than nine years ago and I remember how uncomfortable I felt when a doctor was about to explain something to me." I nod as I felt the same way. It's always uncomfortable. "So Dylan, this news kind of sucks but you have this thing called Chronic Fatigue Syndrome."

"What's that?"

"It's a condition that, regardless how many hours you sleep, you always feel tired. Symptoms include headaches, fatigue, and dizziness. Other symptoms include loss of memory or concentration and unexplained muscle pain. Very rarely, people get sensitive to light, pain in the eyes, dry eyes, and blurry vision.

It's a condition not very known by the field but we do know that it's usually caused from a viral infection or psychological stress. Have you recently been infected with anything?" I shake my head no. "How about you personal life? Anything different lately?"

"Well, there is one thing." I take a deep breath as he nods for me to continue. "So, three years ago, I came here from Minnesota so I can host a show. Stuff happened, it was an awesome summer. But then, some one I trusted the most sort of ruined my trust and I haven't talk to them since. Now that I'm back here to host another show, we bumped into each other and now I see him everyday."

"So, all this took a toll on you?" I nod. It wasn't the whole truth but it also wasn't a total lie. "I think you got CFS because of that. Maybe it's on your mind too much and it's almost like you're dependent on it. Am I right?"

"Yeah." I sigh as he stands up and walks over to me. He looks at me with curious eyes before giving me a nod and walking out. "If only my life were simple." I want to cry again but I can't. I've wasted all my tears yesterday. I've wasted all my screams. I've wasted all my emotions. I'm emotionally drained and I wish I wasn't. I feel weak and I feel helpless. Two things I hate feeling.

Huh, I guess I haven't changed. I'm still afraid of being weak. I still get emotionally drained when something goes wrong. But one thing that has changed, how I hold it in. I've learned to not cry when I feel like it. I've learned to hold it in because when someone sees you at your weakest point, they can hurt you even more. I learned that from Trevor.

He tore me down. I let him see a part of me I never really showed anyone. Happiness. I guess that's how I found myself being so hurt when I found out there was a pact. But who knows, I guess you can say I let my guard down. I wonder if it had to do with the fact that he was one of my idols and I thought that, just because he was nice on camera, he was just as nice in real life. But I learned that wasn't true. I don't blame him.

"Dylan?" I hear a knock on the door to find Connor poke his head inside. "Hey Dylanator!" He walked over to me and pecked my lips.

"Do you know when I can leave?" He nods.

"They said you just have to sign the forms then you can go home. Only if you feel good enough though."

"I do. I feel better and I want to get out of here now."

"Okay, okay. I'll talk to the doctor and while you change into these." He passes me a plastic bag with clothes inside. "Now go change." I laugh and slowly get up. My legs hurt from being in the bed for two days and Connor helps me walk out.

"Hi there Connor." Doctor Drae walks up to us with a smile on his face. "Dylan, I see you're walking. How does it feel?"

"It hurts." I answer truthfully, leaving him to nod understandingly.

"You can go change in one of the bathrooms over there. Connor, you come with me. I need you to sign the form saying that you're the one who picked her up." He nods before kissing the top of my head and leaving with the doctor. I slowly walk toward the bathroom and lock the door to change.

Connor chose a good outfit. He brought me some black shorts with a cropped, plaid shirt. I change into those and I'm surprised it actually looks good on my body. I wash my face with the soap and water and try to fix my hair. It's become a birds nest after sleeping so much and it sucks. I wet my hands to try to tame it a bit. When I get to where I somewhat want it to be, I walk out of the bathroom and find Connor at the front desk.

"Hey." He snakes an arm around my waist and kisses my temple. I just send him a weak smile. "Sign and we can go." He passes me the pen, making me look at the paper in front of me. I slowly sign it with my usually messy signature and I don't know if this is actually happening. I feel like it's another one of those dreams but then again, I'm crazy.

"Bye Dylan, good luck." I simply nod at my doctor and walk out with Connor to find his car, thankfully, parked close to the door of the hospital.

"So," Connor started. "Digi is tomorrow." I just nod. I don't want to talk. I want to eat a real meal. I want to drink good tasting water. I want to sleep on a comfortable bed for once. "Okay, what's wrong?"

"Nothing." He crosses his arms over his chest. "I'm just tired and want to eat actual food, I'm sorry."

"No, I'm sorry. I'll take you to Panera to get you something to eat, okay?" I simply nod.

We get into the car which seems too small for me right now. I can't stay in here and I just got in here. I need fresh air. I want to walk on the side walk breathing in the air of the small world we live in. The drive was painfully slow but when we finally reach a stop in the parking lot, I run out of the car and bend over with my hands on my knees.

"Dylan!"

"Just," I breath in and out slowly. "Fine." I straighten my back, releasing a breath and walking into Panera. We order our food and Connor pays since I don't have anything. Not even my phone. "Can we go home now?"

"Yeah."

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