Attracting Trouble

Chapter 20: The Night Everything Fell Apart

After I gracefully climb into Will's car with his help - I use gracefully lightly - we're off before I know it. I can feel the need to have a conversation with him, but it has to wait. The right moment will present itself, I'm sure.

"Where should we go?" Will asks and I immediately know the answer. I give him the directions of where to go, which ends up only being ten minutes from the hospital.

A dirt road with tall cedar trees lining each side leads up to an open space. If we stayed where we are now, we'd think the open space was just a flat and vast field. But as we make our way over, me on my crutches and Will beside me watching me carefully, we see that it's a ledge. Rocks jut out from the side of it, leading all the way down to the water.

It's getting colder, and by the channel of water, it's even colder. After arguing with me that I shouldn't be out here because it's so cold and me winning with my argument that I can take it, Will helps me to sit down on a flat rock big enough for both of us.

"Sit," I tell him, patting the rock beside me. He sits and we stare out at the other side of the channel.

I prop my hurt foot up on another rock and lean back on my hands, but I'm already freezing. Will runs back to his car to find an old blanket, one that looks like it had been through Hurricane Katrina. Nonetheless, I wrap the blanket around both our shoulders and we sit closer together.

I'm well aware of his body pressed against mine in the moment and try to think of what we need to say. What words are supposed to help us come out of this stage? What stage are we even in?

I don't have to think of it first because he finally pipes up.

"What do you wanna do after high school?" He asks me completely out of the blue. I watch the water for a little while, trying to figure out what the answer should be.

A doctor? No, I don't trust myself with someone else's life. A vet? That poor animal. A clothing designer? Those poor, unfashionable people. A lawyer? I don't think I could be convincing enough.

After a long silence, I finally answer. "I... I don't really know." The breath released from my mouth looks like smoke. "It's not like I haven't thought about it, but... nothing really catches my eye."

Will pulls his knees up and rests his elbows on them. "I remember when you wanted to be a race car driver. You were so set on it that we had to build a little one made out of cardboard and powered by your bicycle. Then we had to race down the road."

We both start laughing about that. The things a fourteen-year-old girl thought of. Actually, it was out of the ordinary for my age. But I'm Jessa Ackerman, what do you expect?

"Too bad things aren't that simple anymore," I say, pulling one knee to my chest.

"Yeah, I know," Will agrees. "When we were kids we could just say we wanted to be astronauts and boom, we were astronauts."

I smile at the thought of how simple things were. When I glance at Will out of the corner of my eye, I feel the overwhelming urge to make sure he accomplishes his dreams. The smile never leaves my face.

"What about you?" I ask, watching him as his eyebrows furry and that look of confusion makes his eyes shine. It sounds so weird until you see it for yourself.

"Me?" He asks casually.

"No that tree," I say sarcastically and nod to a nearby pine. "Yes you, what do you want to be?" I giggle as he shoves me easily, not wanting me to fall off the rock and hurt myself. I've been pretty good at hurting myself lately.