Attracting Trouble

Chapter 28: The Elephant

I'm not sure what to do. Do I walk outside and meet him or do I let him come in?

I quickly decide to meet him on our porch steps. He's staggering up to me, so I know what he's already been up to.

What if he's here to hurt me? Get revenge? I feel my pockets frantically for my phone but it's in my room. I had sent a text to Will asking if he wanted to hang out, so maybe he got it and he's on his way over.

Yeah, he's on his way over.

I start to say something, but my voice cracks. I clear it. "What are you doing here, Connor?"

I flinch when he gets closer to me, but instead of doing anything, he plops down onto the top step. I cautiously sit down beside him.

"You shouldn't be here," I add quietly.

He smiles a goofy smile. It disappears right after and his bottom lip forms a pout. "Nobody loves me, Jessa."

I sigh. What good will it do if I tear him down the way he tore me down. Sure that's what he deserves, but how will help me?

I scratch the back of my neck, unsure with what to do with myself. "Your parents do." I force out.

"Not reallyyy," he slurs. "They just love their jobs and their money and their cars and all that jazz." He chuckles at his own words.

My eyebrows raise. "Look, I don't have time for this, Connor. Go home."

"Wait," he says as I start to get up. He wraps his fingers around my wrist and pulls me back down. I stare at his hand and look back up at him. He sees it too and quickly lets go.

"I'm... I'm sorry I hurt you, Jessa," he says suddenly, sobering up quickly from his giggling. I'm shocked to hear him say it, but I also know that he's drunk. How much of this is he going to remember?

I just look at him and watch as he stares in front of us. I don't know what to say, so I wait for him to continue.

Tears suddenly make his eyes shiny. "I'm sorry I hurt you and I'm sorry I hurt Lindsey and I'm sorry I hurt that other girl... I'm an idiot. I didn't mean to do all that, you know." He looks at me expectantly. Like I'd understand. "I was drunk, like this! Except more and I was angry I guess with Mom and Dad-" He cuts himself off.

I take it as an opportunity. "By that other girl do you mean Kyla? A sixteen-year-old that goes to our school?"

He bites down on his lip and drops his head into his hands. I can't lie; I feel for him only on the part of his parents not being there for him. When we dated he would always complain about them.

I tried to talk to him about it, but he never would.

Now it's so much harder to feel sorry for him. I know his pain is there, but what he did was more than wrong.

"I know, Jessa. I know." He shakes his head repeatedly.

I hesitantly rest my hand on his shoulder.

He turns toward me again. "You're the only girl I ever really loved, Jessa. Really. You were fun - stay fun, okay?"

I purse my lips and bite my tongue to keep from reminding him of our relationship.

He pats my leg and give my knee a squeeze before pushing himself up and onto his feet.

"Connor, I hope you aren't planning to drive," I tell him. He looks back at me.

He must actually feel guilty about his actions because usually he's angry when he drinks. So far I've only seen his vulnerability. I stand up and walk over to him.