My eyes flatter open to see Ange and Alex sleeping on the couch. I decide to go and get a drink, while walking to the fridge I look at my phone to see 24 missed calls from Harry and 30 text messages. Man what do I do I can't just ignore him, I decide to call him.
"Natalie thank god you worried me." Harry says.
"Hey, why were you worried you obviously didn't care the other night." I rudely reply
"Wow Natalie that was low." Harry adds
"Are you kidding me!?!?! That was low oh man why the hell did I call." I start getting an angry tone.
"Natalie please I'm sorry." Harry answers desperately.
"Cool well I'm going, goodbye." I say hanging up because I honestly can't talk to him right now, I start crying again for what feels like the 100th time today. I feel arms wrap round my shoulders the arms feel slightly warm, I turn to see Ange I begin to ask .
"Angela how do I do it?"
"What Natalie?" Angela questions looking very confused.
"Fake a smile, fake to be happy around them? Ange it was 3 years of my life gone to waste 3 precious years. Idk if I can go back to him Ange I don't want to at all, I was just in the phone to him.... Angela he is so upset" I answer.
"Oh bub you can't fake it around him and it'll be hard definitely hard but eventually it'll get easier. Nobody is expecting you to go back to him Natalie, but he definitely doesn't deserve for you to go back." Angela looks at me with a face full of sympathy.
I just hug her tight and cry, I never thought it felt this bad. I thought being broken for some reason would be easier than this, it kinda feels like my heart is ripped out of my chest and thrown away and it'll take quite a while to finally find it again. I let go of Angela and walk up to my room and lay in bed looking at the roof. After a while of just staring at the roof I realise I can't sleep so I decide to go for a jog, I put some leggings on and a sports bra and leave the house.
I start jogging which I rarely do but hey why not, I honestly don't know where I'm jogging to I'm getting lost but I don't care I keep jogging.
At this point I've been jogging for about 20 minutes now I'm getting really tired and I have to get home it's so dark out. I feel like I'm in a scary movie because the trees around me are swaying from side to side, I can hear the owls hooting. The only reason I can see is because the one of the street lights work. I make my way home well what I think is my way home. While I'm walking I feel like someone is watching me so I start running. I feel myself getting tired but I need to get home so I continue running, I finally get home to see Alex still sleeping on the couch. I tell him to get up and get to bed, as he is walking up the stairs he almost trips which makes me laugh.
I get a drink and start walking up stairs, lay down on bed put my drink down and slowly drift off to sleep.
7:30 am
I open my still watery eyes I must have cried last night, man I don't think I can go to school today. I don't really won't either, I jump out of bed and start walking toward Anges room once I get to her door I knock and walk in. Angela is sleeping, I sit on her bed and shake her awake. She starts whining telling me to go away.
"Okay you don't want me here well I'll just stay in my room all day because I'm not going today." I announce.
"Umm no your not if I let you have a day off for a boy mum and dad will kill me Nat." Angela answers.
"Why would they care Angela they aren't ever here so why on earth do they care about my education Angela answer that please." I start getting annoyed talking about them they are never here. Last time I saw them was at the start of the year, it's now august and my birthday is in a few months.
"Natalie they do care it's just their work is very important it's what has us in this amazing house, it's what has us here now." Angela sighs.
I walk out of the room and get ready for school because I definitely won't get my way so I get my white cozy knitted jumper with my black legging, light purple woolly scarf and knee high boots and put on. I walk down stairs to see toast on the bench I grab one and dig in, I feel like walking today but idk if Angela will want me to after our little scene earlier. I go up to Angela and tell her that I'm walking to school she surprisingly says yes. So I walk out side thank god I wore this I'm breathing smoke and my hands now feel like ice but it's okay, I start walking towards school. The walk feels long but I've been on my phone for the whole thing, the time is now 8:30am which is fine because I need to get to school by 8:50am.
I finally get to school and see Valarie waiting at the gate, hopefully she's there for me so I walk to her and she notices me and runs up to me and smiles.
"Baby cakes how are you feeling?" Is the first thing she says.
"I didn't really wanna come today but I'm okay I guess." I respond.
"Baby cakes tell me how your really feeling I know your not okay." Val frowns.
"Honestly I feel like I'm dying but I'm saying I'm fine because I want to impress others, because saying I'm dying makes me feel weak." I admit tearing up.
"Oh Nat everything's gonna be okay babe." Valarie reassures me.
"Yeah everyone's saying that." I mutter under my voice while getting pulled into a hug by her.
We walk to the lockers, my locker once again has Harry leaning against it. But me being my absolute dumbass self looks at him, I roll eyes and walks straight to him. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Why did I do this oh god maybe I can walk back now while thinking that he looks at me and my face is full of regret for walking here. Why did I do this oh man help me please, I walk to him ignoring him full on and opening my locker while he tires to talk to me.
"GOD DAMN NATAIE FUCKING LISTEN TO ME!!!!" Harry yells at me making everyone turn to us, I feel my cheeks getting warm and red.
Why did I walk up to him I question myself what the hell was going on inside my mind when I started walking towards him, fuck he is trying to talk to me again shit.
