If You Love Me Let Me Go (Scömìche)

7

I woke up to an empty bed and light blinding my eyes. I squinted them, trying to locate a clock, anything that would tell me what time it was. There was an alarm on the bedside table - it read 6:35 AM. Great. Another early morning.

I smiled as I remembered last night's events. Well - did it really happen? It felt so surreal. Did Scott actually kiss me? Did he actually let me cuddle up to him as I tried to fall asleep? I still felt the ghost of his lips on mine, sucking, biting, leaving marks... Oh, right. I just needed to find a mirror to find out if it really happened. I just needed to take a look at my neck. If there were bruises - lovebites - then it was all real. If not, then... I might just have had a very vivid, amazing dream.

I scrambled up from the bed, ouch... My leg still hurt. But it was healing. I was already feeling a lot better. I really hoped Alex wouldn't show up again. Especially not now that I was so... exposed.

Oh my god, Scott saw me naked.

All memories came together, flooded my mind, as I remembered the shower yesterday, and the fact that... Scott was naked, too. He was straddling my hips, kissing me, and I could actually feel him. But we didn't do it. He said he wouldn't. Just like he said, and I quote, he didn't want to take my worthless virginity. Well... Maybe Scott wasn't all that nice.

He was still a criminal, I needed to remember that. There were moments in which I honestly forgot, or just underestimated him. He shot a man right in front of me, and I was still attracted to him?! I was attracted to a murderer?! I didn't want to be another victim of the Stockholm syndrome.

Nope, from now on I was going to avoid Scott. The man that kills people. The man that should go to jail for literally everything.

I made my way to the little vanity in the corner of the room. Just because I was going to avoid Scott didn't mean I didn't want to know if I made out with him or not. There was a little mirror on the wall, and as I observed my naked body I realized that yes - there were indeed bruises on my neck that looked a lot like hickeys. I involuntarily smiled as the warm feeling spread inside my chest and stomach, making me feel giddy and excited over something that wasn't supposed to have happened in the first place. Scott took my first kiss. He took something I'd saved up for a special person in my life - Dylan. But still, I couldn't find myself to be mad about it. In fact, I was everything but mad - excited, thrilled, happy, even a bit nervous. But in a good way. It was the thrilling nervousness, the anticipation of something beautiful, the one that made your head spin and made you feel butterflies in your stomach.

Enough of this shit, though.

I drew my look away from the mirror, going to sit down on my bed again. I ran my fingers through my hair, sighing. What the fuck was happening to me?!

There was a knock on the door and I had a split of a second to pull the blanket around me before the lock turned and Esther peeked through the door and came in.

"Good morning, Mitch," she said. I just stared at her. "Scott said you needed clothes, so I brought some for you. I just bought them."

She handed me a red and black flannel along with a pack of boxers and black asymmetrical jeans. It all looked way too big for me, but I took it gladly anyway. Esther couldn't know my size after seeing me once, after all. She gave me a small smile before she made her way out of the room again.

I had clothes now, they were too big, but they were clothes!

I quickly put everything on, noticing the big, white writing that read Flawless in capital letters on the back of the flannel. I furrowed my brows. Wasn't that Beyoncé merch? How could Esther have gotten this weirdly specific top from a random store?