Searching For The Light: BTOB Changsub x APINK Chorong ✔

Chapter 5

Chapter 5 / Consequence
Changsub's POV

I've been staring at my phone for so long, contemplating whether to apologize to Chorong or not. Seriously, what is so hard about sending a simple 'I'm sorry.' text?

I exhaled and pushed my phone under the pillow. I stared at the ceiling and I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep again. Every night feels like a battle with awakeness. I couldn't sleep because my mind doesn't stop thinking.

I think about Naeun and our memories. I think about our present and how we didn't even officially break up. I think about the ring in her finger. I think about her fiancé and how good looking the jerk is. I think about mom. I think about Bomi. I think about music. And I think about Chorong.

When the clock's hands turned to three-twenty, I got up and took a sleeping pill from the medicine cabinet. I swallowed one and drank water, and then I settled myself to sleep.

#

When Bomi left the house for work, I jailed myself in my room and grabbed the guitar, a pen and a paper to try to create a new songㅡbut after several minutes, I gave up because my mind is empty. This is partly why I don't want to do music anymoreㅡbecause music doesn't want me anymore. I am uninspired and I don't find the words to write, or the melody to strum. I am unlively and music is supposed to make you feel alive.

#

At eleven-forty-five, something came into the mail: a wedding invitation from Naeun.

I wanted to tear it apart, but instead, I shoved it into my drawer and closed it carefully as if it's a monster that might eat me if it gets out.

#

At twelve, I was staring at the unsent message I typed last night for Chorong.

I'm sorry.

And I thought about what she said: "She's happy. Don't show her how miserable you are because you won't get her back that way."

I know I won't ever get her back, but something inside me lit up a fire. I want her to see that I'm not miserable, that I'm alright, that I can be happy without her too.

So I finally sent a message to Chorong.

I'm sorry. Can I call you?

#

Chorong's POV

"Heol!"

I sat straight up and stared closer at my phone screen. I blinked twice. The message is real.

Lee Changsub:
I'm sorry. Can I call you?

"What's that?" Namjoo asked, trying to peep on the phone and then she squealed. "Ohmygosh! Who is that?"

"What is it? What is it?" Eunji asked but before she could look at the message, I slid the phone inside my pocket.

"Eonni!" Namjoo called. "Do you have a new guy?"

"What? What are you hiding from us?" Eunji asked.

I grabbed a potato chip and a smile crept on my face as I chewed. "Nothing."

"Your face says another!" She said.