Searching For The Light: BTOB Changsub x APINK Chorong ✔

Chapter 22

Chapter 22 | Healing

Changsub:

IT ALL FEELS STRANGE.
I have about five people worrying about my hair, my face, my skin, and my clothesㅡmy overall appearance during the photoshoot for my album. The most chill person among the staff is the Korean-American photographer, named Peniel Shin.

I have about two people around, reading me the articles that were published this morning about Bana Entertainment, soon to be debuting a solo artistㅡwho had been a trainee for only two months. Jiyong, my manager, who was reading them to me and Jintaek, the other manager, who was quietly scrolling through the comment section.

Everyone was curious about how I look. That is why all the stylists are eager to make me look better looking.

When the transition was doneㅡI almost couldn't recognize myself. I have flawless skin and wider eyes. Something they've done made my nose look better. My originally curly hair was straightened, and was a little messy as if they want it to be perfect but not quite. According to one of my female stylists, my hair is perfect but I can't understand how messy is perfect, but anyway, I haven't looked this good my whole life.

The photographer, Peniel, led me to the set and guided me on how I should pose for myself. The concept was simple and casual. We went to a park and I laid down on the green grass, and Peniel stepped on a ladder to take a better shot of me as the sun shone all over me. I naturally raised my hand to cover my eyes from it, but Peniel suddenly said, "Oh! That's good. Wait, don't move!" and then when he finished, "Good, let's move."

We moved around this particular street until the sunset and I had to pose while looking at it, of course.

I find the first photoshoot exhausting because there were way too many people watching me try to look better for the camera, but then I realized that once I make my debut, that would be my life for a long, long time.

I thanked Peniel and the other staff by the end of the day. We'll see each other again tomorrow for another shoot, and then for the music video filming, which Peniel takes part in as well.

Somehow, he looked younger than I am but when I took a look of what today had been, the pictures are pretty great.

On my way home, Jintaek offered to drive me but I told him I'd take my bike instead. I passed by the bookstore, almost closing, and saw the Harry Potter books displayed on their front shelves that ridiculously reminded me of Chorong.

It's only been three days since I last talked to herㅡand I miss her badly. Every night and day when I think of her, it always felt like my heart was being stabbed by tiny needles over and over again.

Before I knew it, I have bought the first book of Harry Potter and a yellow highlighter, and instead of heading straight home, I pedalled my way to her place just like how it has been for three days. I would go to where she lives, but I couldn't bring myself to knock on her door.

Because I know she needs more time.
And I hope she would come to me soon.

I left the Harry Potter book on her doorstep after spending so long, trying to find my most favorite passage in the book to highlight it, and on my way home as I listened to my album, I wondered if she has listened to the songs that spoke about her.

#

Chorong:

I took several deep breaths as I hold the pen in my hand, the paper lies blank in front of me.

After the dream, I told Eunji and Namjoo about it and ask what they thought.

"Your mom isn't looking at you sadly because you set her free," said Eunji, "She was looking at you like that because you are doing this to yourself."