My Lonely Road - Joshler

Chapter 18

(tyler's p.o.v.)

i burst into tears as soon as i got to Chris's driveway.

i couldn't believe this. or maybe the reason that my heart felt like it had been ripped apart and stomped on was because i could believe this. too well.

of course Josh didn't love me. why would anyone ever love me? i'm just a sad kid that tries to be happy but instead makes other people sad. i'm a failure. a fuck up. a nobody.

blurry had been right all this time.

i guess it's back to me and him. like the good old days.

and Josh still hadn't even said he was sorry. i wouldn't be surprised if he was still at Alyssa's, making out with her at this very moment.

i can't even blame him for this. i'm the one who had to be so sickeningly naive. i'm the one who had to cry on Josh's shoulder, i'm the one who just had to kiss him. no one wants a burden like that in their lives. i should just die.

as i cried on the driveway, burying my stupid head in my stupid knees and pulling on my stupid hair, i heard the faint sound of footsteps. and then i was being engulfed someone's arms.

Chris hugged me so tightly, so comfortingly, so soothingly that for a split second i actually felt like everything was going to be okay. sadly the feeling didn't last for too long. i almost started crying harder when he let go.

he looked at me, and it almost looked like he was sharing my pain. like he was just as distressed and heartbroken as me. it made me feel better that he was sympathetic, but it also made me feel shitty because i had made him sad.

"Tyler," he said. "Tyler, i am so sorry." he almost looked like he was going to cry himself. "but it's- it's gonna be alright, okay? everything is gonna be alright."

i shook my head and wiped my eyes a little. "it's not your fault," i said simply.

Chris sighed uncertainly. "it's not yours either," he replied. "you-"

we suddenly heard Josh's voice from Alyssa's driveway. "TYLER!!!!!!"

hearing his voice made me want to die even more than i already did. i couldn't bear to see him. not after what he did, how me made me feel...

Chris grabbed my shirt and pulled me behind his car to get out of his sight. "Tyler..." he said again.

i sniffed and looked at him. "can you drive me home?" i asked. but he shook his head.

"no," he answered. "you're gonna come with me and you're gonna hang out with Adam and i until you feel better," he said firmly, but somehow gently at the same time.

i didn't really feel like protesting and that seemed like a good offer, so i nodded my head. "okay," i sniffed.

Chris smiled and helped me up from the ground, and i almost smiled back. i would have if didn't feel like such a piece of shit at the moment.

we went through his front door, where he told me i could take off my shoes, so i did, and almost slipped on his wooden floors. i giggled a little at my own clumsiness. Chris laughed and told me i could take off my socks too.

i heard a voice from the couch in Chris's living room. "Chrisy, is that you?" it was Adam.

"yeah, hi Adam," Chris called back, leading me to the couch where Adam was on his laptop. he snapped it shut when we sat down though. my face turned red at the thought of what he was doing on it. "i brought Tyler," Chris said.

"well duh," Adam replied, earning a laugh from Chris and i. "where'd you guys go?"

my face instantly dropped at the thought of what had happened about 15 minutes ago. Adam noticed my reaction and looked worried. he looked at Chris, who was equally grim. "Chris?"