Fix Me // b.b {COMPLETE}

Chapter Ten: Ryan

  I open my eyes and look up, seeing Matthew sleeping. I kiss his jaw and slowly get out of bed, I put on his shirt and my underwear. I leave his room and shut the door, I walk down the hallway and trip on the carpet again. I continue walking and I walk downstairs, I walk into the kitchen and open the fridge. I take out eggs and milk and a bowl from the cabinet. I crack the eggs into the bowl and add milk to the eggs. I stir it all together and put a pan onto the stove and put a little butter onto the pan, after it melts I pour the eggs onto the pan. As the eggs cook, I begin to scramble them. I almost jump when I feel two arms wrap around my waist and lips lightly kissing my neck. I smile as I continue cooking, he keeps holding me and kissing on me. I walk over to the plate cabinet and take out two little plates, he still clings to me and lightly kissing my neck. I pour the finished eggs on the two plates evenly and sit the plates down at the bar. I turn around and Matthew places his hands firmly on my hips. He props me up on the counter and kisses my lovingly. I wrap my arms around his neck and legs around his back. He parts from me and smiles lightly.

  "You're so beautiful. " he whispers and I smile. I hug him and see his phone light up on the counter. 

  thank you . -ivy

  I grab his phone and he tries to grab it back. I get down off the counter and open his phone with my thumbprint. I read through the messages. He knows, she told him everything. I sit his phone down on the counter and look down at the floor. He grabs my hurt arm and brings it to his lips. I look up and he is bending down slightly, kissing the scratch. He looks back up at me and he rubs his thumb over it. I begin to cry and he embraces me, I cry into his shirt. Is he mad at me? Is he upset with me? I just continue to cry into his shirt. He picks me up bridal style and takes me upstairs to our room. He sits me down on the edge of the bed and he kneels down on both knees in front of me. I wipe my eyes and he is staring at me dead into the eyes. 

  "Talk to me baby. " he says. I look down and cry softly. He stays quiet till I collect myself together.

  "My brother.." I say and begin to sob into his shoulder. He embraces me more and I just cry. This will be the first time I talk about Ryan to anyone since he died. 

  "My twin brother Ryan, he was the happiest guy alive at one point. Always smiling and always having a good time. After his girlfriend cheated on him, he fell into this deep depression nobody could get him out of. Me and him were best friends, he would tell me anything, anytime he wanted to. He meant everything in the world to me. Two weeks before our birthday, I came home early from work and I couldn't find him anywhere. I eventually looked in the bathroom, and he took a whole bottle of anti-depressants with a whole thing of beer. I just remember screaming my lungs off and trying to wake him up, but he never woke up. My dad came in and tried to give him CPR as my mom called whoever, and I just left the bathroom and fell in the hallway as my brother slowly slipped away. I will never get that vision out of my head, and it will stay with me forever. I just want him back here with me, it may sound selfish but I don't want him gone, I want him here with me where I can joke with him, make fun of him, dance with him, and talk about you with him. I need to move on I know that, but for right now I just need to miss him. " I say quietly. I look up at Matthew, a tear rolls down his face.I sadly smile and I wipe it away and he sighs.

  " I had no idea baby. " he says and embraces me, he pets my hair and tries to sooth me as I cry into his shoulder. I pull away from him and look at him in the eyes. I kiss him sadly but passionately and he kisses back, but not like he usually does. This time it isn't full of lust or wanting me, he is kissing me softly and slowly. He pulls away from me and brings his attention to my scratch. I watch him as he stares at it, rubbing his fingers over it carefully. 

  "Is this the only one? " he asks me looking up with pleading eyes. I nod and he smiles lightly. 

  "Rae? " he says still looking at my arm.

  "Yeah?" I ask and he looks up at me.

  "I love you. " he says and I gasp quietly. I smile and so does he. 

  " I'm not sure if you say that after a month and a half of being together, but I mean it. " he says and I laugh slightly. I kiss him quickly and lean my forehead against his.

  "I love you." I say and mean every word. He smiles and kisses me softly. I run my fingers in his hair and tug, making him moan slightly in response. He leans up, now standing. He begins to straddle me and he puts his hand on my cheek. I kiss him back hard and he is now fully above me. He stops kissing me and looks me in the eyes. 

  " What are you doing to me Raelyn? " he says and I smile, running my thumb over his bottom lip.

  "Loving you. "