Fix Me // b.b {COMPLETE}

Chapter Fifteen: Pregnancy Tests and Tears

  I walk into the house as quietly as possible, trying not to alert Mat. I look in the living room and he has three beers bottles sitting on the coffee table and and another one in his hand. He is watching Family Guy. I slowly creep past him into the half bathroom and I shut the door and lock it, I can hear the tv and Matthew laughing at the show. I open my bag and take out the pregnancy test. My hands shake as I open the little cardboard box and I take out all three of the tests, I take one test in my hands and just stare at it. I take all of the tests and I just wait, pacing around the bathroom with my hand on my forehead. There is a knock at the door.

  "Babe? " I hear Mat ask and a tear rolls down my face. 

  "Yeah? " I say and try not to cry.  

  "Are you okay? " he asks and I smile, loving at how much he cares.

  "I'm okay. " I say and try to convince myself. 

  "Let me know if you need anything, okay? " he says. 

  "I will. " I say and I hear him walk away. I pick up one of the tests.

  Negative. 

  I sigh in relief and pick up the next test.

  Negative. 

  I smile and pick up the last test. 

  Positive. 

  My smile fades and heart drops. My breathing rate increases. Maybe this one is wrong, the other two is negative so maybe this one is wrong. I pick up all the tests and put them in my pajama shorts pocket. I walk out of the bathroom and Mat is sitting on the couch, still watching Family Guy. I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss his cheek, I feel him smile and I look at him.

  "I'm not on my period. " I say and he gives me a confused look. 

  "What do you mean? Your stomach is cramping and you're throwing up. " he says and I smile sadly. I pull out the tests slowly and walk around the couch and sit next to him. I hand him the two negatives and his face falls. 

  "What does this mean? " he asks and I smile sadly.

  "Negative. " I say and he sighs in relief. Then I hand him the positive, his face turns confusion. 

  "Positive. " I say and he gasps slightly. 

  "So this means you're pregnant? " he asks and I shrug. 

  "We need to go to the doctor tomorrow, because I don't know for sure. " I say and he nods. He sighs and puts his hands forehead. 

        -----------------------

  I stay wake all night. I can't help but think I am actually I'm pregnant. It scares me to death to think I am. What if Matthew doesn't want a baby right now? Will he break up with me?  Want me to get an abortion? I put my hands over my face and I want to cry, but I don't want to wake up Mat. We are supposed to go to a bar tomorrow night after the appointment and meet up with one of Matthew's friends. I stand up and remember I am supposed to call Ivy. Hopefully she is awake, it's seven in the morning. I pick up my phone and unlock it, I go to her contact and begin to call her. 

  "Rae! " she squeals into the speaker and I smile. 

  "Hey. " I whisper and walk out of the bedroom into the hallway. 

  "You are never going to guess what happened to me! " she says excitedly and I smile at her excitement. 

  "What? " I say and she squeals.

  "I'm pregnant! " she says and I gasp. She laughs and I smile at her excitement. 

  "I'm so happy for you. " I say and she sighs. 

  "You sound upset. " she says and I shake my head.

  "I'm excited for you, just not for me. " I say and she gasps. 

  "Are you pregnant! " she asks and I laugh. 

  "I don't know yet. " I say and she gasps.

  "Our babies can be besties! " she says and I smile. 

  "I don't know yet Ivy. " I say and she sighs.

  "I hope you are. " she says and I laugh. 

  "It wouldn't be too bad, I guess. Is Kaiden happy? " I ask.

  "Extremely. " she laughs. I am so happy for her. 

  "So, does Matthew know? " she asks.

  "Yep, we are going to see today. " I say and she sighs.

  "That's good, just be careful when you go out today and make sure you text me as soon as you find out. " she says and I nod even though she can't see me. 

  We talk for about an hour and I go to the backyard and just sit by the pool. I keep staring at my stomach, thinking about the possibility of a baby being in there. I sigh and stand up from the lawn chair and put my feet in the pool. My stomach begins to cramp and I almost begin to talk to the 'baby'. I shake head and get out of the water, I walk back inside and I see Marissa walk through the front door to begin her day. She asks if I want breakfast  and I nicely decline, Matthew and I's appointment is in two hours anyway so I need to wake him up. 

  We get ready together and we get into the car. I hold his hand with my tattoo on it and smile when I look at it. I begin to shake and Mat notices, he kisses my hand in reassurance and I calm down a little. I am so in love with this man. Sure, we fell for each other in three days but who gives a shit. I love him and he loves me, that's all that matters. I love him almost too much, but it's okay. He makes me happy, he kept me alive. I can't thank him enough for it. I look at him, but he watches the road carefully.

  "You seem so concentrated. " I say and he smiles, still watching the road. 

  "Well I could have three passengers aboard and I want none of them to get hurt. " he says and my heart flutters, so he wouldn't be mad if I was pregnant. I smile at reassurance that everything will be okay. Pregnant or not, I know we will be happy. We have never fought since we started dating, not once, and it's pretty amazing. He begins to hum a nursery rhyme and he looks over at me and smiles, I smile at him and he kisses my hand again. 

  "Everything will be okay. " he says and I sigh. 

  "I know. "