The Final Countdown - Season I

Episode 2: Part 1: Oh, So THAT'S a Yurt

"How the hell are you going load this bigass thing into that smallass tent?"

Ronnie lowered her end of the Final Countdown to the ground and leaned against it, catching her breath. Two packs of cigarettes, a just-before-bed pipe, and a huge fattie of a joint every day were bound to a somewhat negative impact on the ol' respiratory system.

"Ronnie, we've been over this. It's not a tent." This was the fourth break they'd taken on their way out to backyard. One more push and they'd be there, unless Ronnie's lungs exploded. She hacked and wheezed until something yellow the size of a mutant Skittle erupted from deep within. "It's a yurt."

"Doesn't yurt just mean tent in Turkish?"

Eddie froze. "You speak Turkish?"

Ronnie threw her head back and laughed until tears rolled down her cheeks. "No."

She bent down and picked up her end of the Final Countdown. "Come on, Mr. Lazy! This baby ain't gonna carry herself!"

After much heaving, wheezing and one moment where Ronnie thought she might be having a heart attack, they got the Final Countdown all the way over to the yurt.

Ronnie snickered. "Don't yurt me, baby."

"Ronnie..."

"I yurt myself today, to see if I still feel..."

Eddie frowned.

"You only yurt the ones you love..."

He slapped a hand to his forehead. "Dear God..."

"Hey, I'm so glad Avatar didn't win that Oscar. I'm so glad it went to-"

He bowed his head. "Don't do it, Ronnie."

"The Yurt Locker!"

Ronnie doubled over with laughter again, her peals of greasy laughter echoing throughout the neighbourhood.

"You done?"

She wiped a tear from her eye and nodded. "For now."

The yurt was surprisingly large on the inside, and installing the Final Countdown in its proper place was much easier than the long, arduous journey through the backyard had been. As he worked on the final touches and some quick diagnostic tests, Ronnie cracked her back and took a look around.

"This is some pretty funky stuff going on in here, neighbourino," Ronnie said. "It looks like Star Trek in here!"

He checked a readout on the Final Countdown and nodded in satisfaction. "I know."

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