The Final Countdown - Season I

Episode 2: Part 3: Ronnie-Back Ride

Ronnie had toured around the entire yurt (which didn't take long,) found twelve potentially life-threatening oversights that Eddie hadn't noticed (which drove him crazy but also made him thank every last one of his lucky stars,) and set fire to the Sustenance Nuclear Acceleration Chamber (which was really just a souped-up microwave he'd renamed the SNAC.)

All in all, just a regular five minutes for old Ronnie.

"How long do you expect to survive in this thing?" Ronnie asked, picking off the especially crispy bits from the pizza bagel she'd just nuked into oblivion.

He slapped out the rest of the fire with a tea towel, and shot Ronnie a glare. "Indefinitely. Forever. As long as needs be. I don't know for sure."

"Really?" Ronnie bit into her pizza bagel, and shrieked as the nuclear-hot cheese splashed onto her chin.

"Really." He checked the Doomsday timer on his phone. Two hours left.

She should have been back by now.

Ronnie peeled the chunk of mozzarella off her chin (losing at least two layers of skin in the process) and popped it in her mouth. 

"You look worried...huh..." Ronnie paused. He couldn't remember another time he'd ever seen her stop and think. 

"What? What is it?"

Ronnie shook her head. "No, it's just, I don't think I ever learned your name. Weird, huh?"

"No, not at all." He checked his phone again. One hour, 58 minutes. "I never gave it to you."

The rest of the pizza bagel vanished down Ronnie's gullet. "Well, whatever your name is, why are you so worried?"

Any other day, he would have told Ronnie to mind her own business.

"She should have been back by now."

"Who?"

"My girlfriend."

"Your ex-girlfriend."

He gritted his teeth. "Yes. My ex-girlfriend. If she doesn't get back soon...I can't even think about it."

Ronnie wiped her chin. "Let's go get her."

"What?"

"Look. If what you say is true, and we're all doomed, I'm coming with you. If you won't go without her, let's go."

He thought about it for a second. One more on the yurt might throw every calculation he'd made out the window, but time was a luxury he just didn't have right now.

"Done." He slapped his forehead. "Shoot!"

"What?" 

"She took the car! It'll take hours to find her if we have to walk!"

Ronnie grinned. "Got any Coke?"

He gave her a shocked eyebrow. "What? At a time like this, you want to do drugs?"

"No, Coke! Coke! The drink!"

He had the good grace to at least look embarrassed. "Yes. Why?"

He dug around in the yurt's pantry and yanked out a 2 L bottle of the toxic brown sludge. 

"Perfect." Ronnie grabbed the bottle and downed it in one. "Hop on."

"Hop on?"

Ronnie crooked her elbows and bent her knees. "Time for a Ronnie-back ride. One glug of Coke, I can run for three days non-stop while hauling three times my own weight. So, hop on."

Eddie didn't feel he needed to ask again, mostly because he didn't want to go actually insane. He gingerly climbed aboard Ronnie's back and clutched her shoulders like a toddler.

"Coke gives you superpowers?"

"I don't know. And I've got a name for you, seeing as how we're getting out of here soon."

"Hit me."

Ronnie took a deep breath and raced off into the city. "Captain Fancypants."

He laughed and checked his phone once more. One hour, 56 minutes. 

"So be it. Captain Fancypants it is."

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