The Final Countdown - Season I

Episode 2: Part 7: Zugatah!

"Ronnie...get us out of here!"

The rage avalanched down on our fearless trio - with every microbe, vertebrate, sentient, domesticated, and otherwise living thing actively trying to kill everything else around it.

Ronnie grunted and took a sharp left. Every corner showed another horrific, gruesome scene. Full-grown men devoured clean down to the bone by rage-fuelled chihuahua puppies on Bleecker, only to be topped by mosquitoes sucking the blood out of the butts of other mosquitoes down 137th Avenue. 

Captain Fancypants clung tightly to Ronnie's formidable shoulders, and Val gripped his decidedly less impressive shoulders, everyone holding on for dear life as the world fell apart around them.

"What's the plan?" Ronnie snarled as she leap-frogged over a dog eating a cat that was eating another dog in return. 

"Head back to the yurt!" Captain Fancypants roared.

"The yurt?" Ronnie side-stepped a planarian worm that had skipped two million years of evolution in an hour and was now beating a police officer to death with his own baton. "You think Miss Venti Chai back there wants to go the yurt?"

"Venti Chai?" Val been called a lot of things over the years, but this was a new one.

Captain Fancypants grimaced. "I might have told her about your love of all things chai. It's been a busy morning."

"Fine, I'll be Venti Chai." Val shook her head. "I don't think there's much left of Val's world out there, anyway."

"Heads up!" Ronnie hugged the wall of a bank as a herd of rabid zombie cows stampeded down the city street, leaving nothing alive in their wake.

"Whatever! Just head back to the yurt!" Venti Chai, as she would now be known for the rest of her life, gave Ronnie's ribs a good kick and the huge woman whinnied as she launched into high gear.

"Seriously," Venti said, leaning in and muttering into the Captain's ear. "What is the plan?"

Captain Fancypants shook his head. "Not dying is as far as I've got right now. After that, things get really crazy."

Venti wondered if she might have been better off joining Ian Giles on the Headless Squad. At least then her life wouldn't depend on whether or not she made it to a yurt.

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