The Final Countdown - Season I

Episode 3: Part 1: Uranus or Mine?

Previously on The Final Countdown...

Our heroes Captain Fancypants, Venti Chai, and Ronnie have just fled Earth moments before it exploded. 

In a yurt. 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yurt

I hope that clears things up. 

Venti Chai's head felt like she'd just launched into space at maximum G while the planet behind her blew up around her ears.

Which is exactly, to the letter, what had just happened.

She rubbed her temples, but the headache wasn't going anywhere. It started in her cerebellum, and radiated down to her toes, out to her eyelashes, and all the way back again. 

Even her teeth hurt.

"What the sweet fancy Moses was that?"

Ronnie's chair had come loose during the launch, and all that had saved her from being flattened into a puddle of human fluids was her ox-like stubbornness. The chair had embedded itself in the opposite wall, and the huge woman was still strapped in. Apart from a bloody nose, she looked fine.

"Guess that's what I get for being a stowaway on the good ship Bullshit!" Ronnie unbuckled herself and promptly floated to the ceiling, where she got good and stuck like an overturned beetle. "And I thought this day couldn't get any better!"

Venti's headache raged on, but the image of the flailing Ronnie was enough to at least bring a smile to her face. "This has to be a bad dream, right?" 

Ronnie's face was smashed up against the yurt's ceiling, and she still couldn't figure out how to flip over. "I keep hoping we all did a pound of 'shrooms last night, and we're having the worst trip ever."

"I'm afraid not."

At long last, Captain Fancypants had woken up. His chair, the one that he had spent the most time perfecting, had provided him with a luxuriant and soft launch, where he hardly felt the G-forces, and was never in any danger of being flung across the room at fatal speeds. He rubbed his eyes like a well-rested toddler and swung his console out in front so he could check the ship's status.

"Damn." 

"What?" Venti leaned over to see what was happening onscreen, but any sudden movements sent ripples of pain up and down her every nerve. She settled back into her chair and had herself a hearty grimace.

"The Final Countdown."

"Come on, Fancypants!" Ronnie barked. "Cut it with the 'here's a little bit of info' crap!"

"It shut down when we all fell unconscious."

"Meaning?" Venti asked.

"Meaning we're floating in space. Aimlessly."

A silence fell around the yurt. All three of them had watched enough Mystery Science Theatre 3000 to know floating aimlessly in space never ended well for anyone.

"There's only one thing that can help us now."

Fancypants pressed a big green button on his console.

"We need Java."

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