The Final Countdown - Season I

Episode 2: Part 5: The Show Must Go On

Previously on The Final Countdown...

Captain Eddie Fancypants and Ronnie are stampeding through the city, searching for Fancypants's lost lady-friend. And by stampeding, I mean Fancypants is getting the world's weirdest piggyback ride from Ronnie, his Coke-addicted next-door neighbour.

Sorry. EX-lost lady-friend. Or should that be lost EX-lady-friend. EX-lost makes it sound like she used to be lost, but now she's found. Amazing Grace, anyone?

"Ronnie, halt!"

Ronnie slammed on the brakes, and the sudden stop pitched Captain Fancypants over her head and sailing through the air. He landed in a heap next to an abandoned food truck. 

"Oh, sweet!" Ronnie ignored the crumpled Fancypants and ripped open the door of the food truck. "Cuban food! I wonder if they've got any tostones in there!"

"Blurq...shmurl..." The captain's wordhole wasn't functioning just yet, thanks to his potential brain damage from the catapulting off of Ronnie's ample backmeat.

Ronnie ransacked the food truck for anything worth ransacking, and stumbled back out into the street with a bellyful of cold, deep-fried plantain chips and a handful of salsa packets.

"Okay. Recharged." She unleashed a long and malodorous belch. "Where to next, Cap?"

Fancypants grimaced to his feet and gave his head a shake. "A little heads up before you go sixty to zero at once would be much appreciated, Ronnie..."

"Hey!" Ronnie tore open a salsa packet and squeezed the spicy sauce right into her gaping maw. "You screamed halt!"

"I did, didn't I?" Fancypants frowned. "Why the hell did I do that?"

Ronnie shrugged. "Don't ask the ride, man!"

Fancypants tried to get his bearings. 

What the hell is going on? How hard did I hit my head...okay...I was riding on the back of Ronnie...why? My girlfriend has the car...why did she leave...because I'm crazy...except this time I'm not...the world's about to end...oh shoot...

"The world's about to end!" Fancypants bellowed. 

"I know! You keep saying that!"

"I know where we have to go!" The captain leapt onto Ronnie's back. "To the theatre!"

Ronnie chugged a couple more salsa packets. "One theatre, coming right up!"

She froze in her tracks.

"Do you hear that?"

A buzzing dull roar echoed down the street. 

"Just go, Ronnie!" Captain Fancypants heeled Ronnie right in the ribs. "We don't have time for that right now!"

Ronnie galloped off as the roar grew and grew.

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