The Final Countdown - Season I

Episode 3: Part 6: Ugly Bags of Mostly Water

Previously on The Final Countdown...

Java the Sentient Coffee Bean Androidy Robot Thing...I could tell you to keep up but that might just sound plain rude...has fired up the Final Countdown and launched our friends and their wonderful yurt across the galaxy.

Now, as you might suspect, being fired across the galaxy at unholy speed can really do a number on one's consciousness, so no one onboard the Final Countdown could do a thing when the yurt suddenly reappeared in the middle of deep space. 

And no one onboard the Final Countdown could do a thing when the yurt suddenly reappeared in the middle of deep space, right in front of the Most Impressive Starship in the Entire Universe.

T'Iguidou, Lady Commander of the Most Impressive Starship in the Entire Universe, closed her eyes to receive the Cortext from the bridge.

"Go."

T'Iguidou had no time, and less patience.

"Your Precious Eminent Queenship Supreme...we have something." 

"You're not Kyle."

The bridge didn't respond right away. Someone was bumbling something down there.

"No, Sweet Fancy Empress of All the Light Touches and Everything Else in Between, I'm afraid I'm not Kyle."

This was not the news T'Iguidou wanted to hear.

"Where's Kyle?"

More silence. If this kept up any longer, she was going to have go down there and kick some ass.

"Kyle, Dainty Power Maiden of Life, Death, and the Great Beyond and Ever After, has taken ill. He ate a bad date this morning, and hasn't left...hasn't left..."

"Does Kyle have the steaming shits?"

The bridge was silent for the longest time yet. T'Iguidou kicked herself out of bed and slid on her uniform. 

"Aye, Goddess Maximus that Doth Giveth Life and Taketh It Away When It Doth Pleaseth Thou, Kyle has the screaming shits. The doctors give him a less than twenty percent chance to-"

T'Iguidou opened her eyes, cutting off the Cortext. Sometimes, being a hyperevolved race of godlike uber-beings had its real drawbacks.

"This had better be worth it."

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