Cracked Butterfly

Chapter 23

Oh Ivy...him of all people? Matilda's words kept ringing like a clanging cymbal in Ivy's distraught mind. Her aching body not so subtly reminding her of the huge mistake she had made all because she was trying to erase someone's memory.

It had been three days since that awful incident at the club; three days and her back and buttocks still hurt like hell but Dr. Cross, Aiden's personal physician, insisted that some of the lesser marks were starting to heal and form scabs and when he told Ivy he was afraid some were so bad they would leave scars Ivy scoffed and remarked they could join the others.

To keep herself busy Ivy lay on her stomach with her laptop so she could work remotely from home and stay connected with her team.

Matilda, Jensen, Aiden and Dr. Cross were the only ones that know what really happened; to everyone else Ivy had been in a minor car accident and was convalescing at home, returning to work hopefully on Monday.

Wallace Advertising had some of the most amazing people working for them and Ivy's kitchen showed it; bottled water, home cooked casseroles, and other food items so Ivy didn't have to cook. She could just warm whatever she wanted in the microwave; and Matilda, bless her heart, she had been stopping by everyday after work to see to Ivy's recovery.

She had even gone a purchased a loose, soft cotton night shirt and believe it or not it was tolerable having that against her tattered flesh.

Ivy had not been able to bring herself to look at the damage Roman Mercier had inflicted on her body because her mind was still trying to process what had actually happened and adding a visual of her back proved to be more than she was willing to deal with at the moment.

Matilda wanted her to see someone professionally, she told Ivy on more than one occasion that keeping it all inside would culminate in her exploding and that was never a good thing. Ivy knew she was right but the thought of talking to a complete stranger about how much she liked being spanked or choked...yeah she could see the doctor grabbing for the prescription pad!

She wasn't saying no, but she really needed to give it some more thought. She knew a huge part of her trepidation was from the embarrassment of not exercising more caution, she let her broken heart lead her around instead of her head.

Her body and hair felt grimy and gross and she just wanted to feel clean again; up until now Matilda had been sponging her off but she needed a shower, she needed to get Roman Mercier off of her and she needed it like yesterday.

As soon as the barely warm water hit her back Ivy arched and cried out in pain but she stood her ground, chanting to herself that it had to stop hurting soon. She wailed and her body shook, not only from the physical pain but the emotional as well; all of the barriers and walls she'd built up came crashing down around her as she realized the mess she'd made of her life up to this point.

Not wanting to take a chance with shampoo on her back Ivy leaned her head over under the spray of water to washed her hair. Once she was done she was ready to get out, but drying off would present the same exact challenge and pain as getting under the water had. She just let the soft cotton towel skate down and up her back and doing no more, she sighed as she picked up the cotton gown and slipped it on.

Brushing her teeth took little effort and she just stared into her sad, lifeless eyes; tears welling up she couldn't think of a reason to stop them so she let them fall and the damn broke as she braced herself against the sink.

She never heard Aiden come in, but she could tell he was standing there staring at her and at that particular moment she was far beyond caring if he saw her crumbling...hell maybe it would make him have some compassion towards her. Hope springs eternal.

Lifting sad and tired eyes up into the mirror she saw that his own reflection almost mirrored hers.

"I will leave if you wish" Aiden said quietly. Ivy sighed and shook her head no. "You don't have to leave if you don't want to. I just had to take a shower, I needed to get him off of me."

Nodding he stepped closer and took the hair tie that was lying to the left of the sink and put Ivy's hair up in a bun. She didn't try to stop him because right at this moment she needed some comfort and kindness, and even if it was coming from Aiden, she still wouldn't send it away.

He slowly slid the straps of her gown down as their eyes stayed connected to one another, his hand reaching for the arnica cream. Ivy would never tell him but she had missed his touch, their time together, and knowing that she belonged to him.

"Fucking bastard!" He was seething as he medicated the worst of the wounds, his breath making a hissing sound whenever Ivy flinched. "My God Ivy" Aiden croaked out. He was about to lose his shit as well and maybe he should. He didn't look any better, mentally, than she did.

"I'm sorry, so very sorry" he kept chanting and by this point Ivy knew he was breaking and while she still had not forgiven him and she didn't know if she ever could, she wouldn't allow him to suffer in his own private hell; this was something they were both equally responsible for.

Turning around she gently took the container of cream and sat it down on the counter and looked up into Aiden's tired eyes. They just took each other in for a moment before Ivy broke the silence.

"When did you sleep last Aiden?" Her voice soft and tender, not at all what he deserved but who was she to judge? He was suffering, just as she was, and being cold to him was more than she could do.

Sniffling he ran his hand over his face and sighed heavily. "Tuesday night" he answered wearily. He bent down to retrieve the gown and gently put the straps back on her shoulders, then she shocked him by taking his hand and leading him from the bathroom to her bedroom.

Walking around to the right side of the bed she pulled the covers back, and then worked on Aiden's tie. She knew he was probably wondering if she had taken leave of her senses as she removed the accessory along with the rest of his clothing.

Once he was down to his boxer briefs she motioned him to get into bed, and believe it or not he didn't hesitate; he was exhausted so much so that his body was on the brink of exhaustion and he needed to sleep before that happened.

As soon as his head hit the pillow he was asleep so Ivy called Jensen. When he answered she couldn't help but roll her eyes as he thought she was in need of help.

"Jensen I'm fine really, I just had a shower and I'm about ready to lie back down." Ivy was absentmindedly moving a piece of hair away from Aiden's eyes as she watched the rising and falling of his chest.

"I just wanted to let you know that Aiden is here. He looked horrible so I made him lie down, he's sleeping now and I plan on letting him sleep as long as he needs to; I just didn't want anyone to worry about him is all."

"Ivy, I don't know what to say to you right now that would make any of this easier for you to deal with; I know I can't make it okay but I wish I could. Aiden just, well..... he's devastated by what happened to you, it probably doesn't mean much but I just needed you to know that." She knew Jensen was being sincere and that he cared..

"I know he is Jensen, but anyway, I just wanted to let you know where he was. I didn't want anyone to think he was missing, that would be a three ring circus; and even worse if the press thought anything was amiss" Ivy said.

They exchanged a few more words before Ivy hung up, she just continued to sit next to Aiden while he slept and watched him for a moment. She couldn't help but think how handsome he was, severely fucked up, but so very easy on the eyes; and without any apparent rhyme or reason she leaned down and pressed her lips softly to his. The spark was still there, at least for her it was.

She didn't want to think about any of it anymore, not Aiden or Roman, so she took a pain pill then texted Matilda and told her not to come by this evening. She didn't need to try and explain why Aiden was there and why she hadn't tossed him out on his ass.

Her eyes grew heavy as the medicine took effect and the last thing she saw before she closed her eyes was Aiden's body lying next to hers, and that comforted her in a way and it made her feel safe; but her sleep would be anything other than restful. Because in her dreams Roman Mercier was beating her mercilessly and she was screaming for him to stop until she couldn't be heard anymore.