In Your Eyes ↦ Lauren/You

Chapter 31

[A/N: Hate me all you want. I'm so sorry.]

Lauren's POV

Y/N and I are seated inside the airport. She left an empty next to me before settling herself down on the cold seat. I keep on playing with the earpods of my old iPod while Y/N, I can see her fidgeting and drumming her thumbs on her passport while bouncing her knees up and down, repeteadly.

No one is saying a word. After what happened awhile ago in the middle of this airport, she told me that we should seat and talk, but it's a complete silence between the two of us. I don't know what's running in her mind. Did she regret anything she said?

I cast another glance at the woman sitting next to me. She's zoning out. I feel like she's having a second thought on staying here in Miami. There's something bugging in her mind, like she still have to make a decision on going back to Boston or not, even if she already promised me that she won't ever leave me again. She looks like she's going to break me again, I don't want that to happen. I can't let that happen.

"Y/N," I called for her. She hums in response and didn't even dare to make an eye contact with me. What the fuck is wrong with her?

"Y/N," I sighed and this time she ducks her head. Her gaze found her shuffling feet on the ground.

"Thank you," She muttered out quietly. "Thank you for showing up your face to me again. Now, I can finally say goodbye before I leave this time. I don't even know if I'm coming back or not." Wait... Did I heard her right?

I stare at her intently and she still have her head down. "What? What do you mean you're going to leave? Didn't you just promised me that you will never leave me again? Didn't you just said that like... fucking fifteen minutes ago? What the fuck!" I shouted in anger and hurt. I can feel my breathing is becoming uneven.

We heard the floght to Boston being called. The doctor didn't said anything, she just stands up from her seat and take her luggage. She walks past by at me and I yelled at her again. "Y/N! You fucking promised!" I lift myself up from where I'm sitting and I can see Y/N making her way inside the departure area. "Your promised hasn't even lasted in an hour and you're already breaking it? You're breaking me again!" My voice cracked at the end but I tried my best not to let any single tear drop roll down on my face.

She stops her tracks and I can see her shoulder slumps down, "I know, okay? I know what I said. I didn't mean it. I only said thos things to you, to make you feel a little bit better, I guess?" She said in a monotone voice. She didn't even turn her body around and look at me while she was speaking. "Just forget what I said, I'm leaving. Don't get hurt, okay?" Y/N keeps on walking

"Don't go!" I begged. I can see her stopping herself on making another step. "Don't go, Y/N. Please. Don't go." I can feel myself crying in front of her again as I pleaded my first love to stay. She shakes her head and before I know it. She's gone.

I slumped down on my seat again and take the whistle pendant between my index finger and my thumb. My keeps on shattering at the thought of Y/N not going to come back. My fingers run through my iPod and I started to sob again.

She left me, again. I don't understand her. She just promised me that she will never leave me, yet she still did it.

-

I stare up the sky as I stand in the parking lot, with an ambulance that I have to clean in front of me, and the hose keeps on flowing the water out. I didn't even bother to turn that shit off. Now the ground is wet.