The Voices You Hear

...when the remote is naive

Whispers and fumbling at the door were heard, disturbing the silence inside the dark unit.

"Ooh, Bel, did you hear that? Did ya? Huh? Huh? Oh my goodness, someone's trying to get in! Oh no, oh no!"

"Ssh, Remy, I think it's just Richard."

"But, but, but...why would he whisper? Why is it taking him too long to open the door? He always, always enters easily? That might not be him! Oh no, oh no!"

"Hush, Remy, I recognize his voice..."

"There are two voices, Bel! Two! Oh no...what if somebody pointed a gun at him?! What if he's being held hostage? What if..."

The door opened and two shadows merging into one entered. Never bothering with the light, all that can be heard was the shuffling of clothes, and lots of moaning.

"Oh my!"

"Ssh, Remy..."

"But, but...is that...ooohhhh! It's Maine! Hi Maine! Hi pretty Maine! It's me! Remy! Hi there!"

The two bodies separated, another shuffling of clothes before a hand reached out to open the lights.

"Hi Remy! It's nice to see you again! Hi there, Bel!"

"Hello dearie, you look lovely."

"Ooh, you're back! I missed you! I missed you a lot! Didn't I say I missed her Richard? I always tell him to bring you back! Ooh pretty Maine, good golly, you're prettier than pretty!"

She moved to the couch where the remote was, with Richard reluctantly letting her go. He sheepishly looked over at where the bottle was placed, who was smiling back at him.

"Richard dearie, how was your night?"

"Hmm. Getting better Bel."
"Is Maine spending the night?"

"Uh..."

"Goodness, Richard, you're both adults. Go! I'll distract Remy!"

He picked up the bottle and gave it a kiss before going to get Maine, who was laughing at the remote's antics.

"Do you want to watch TV? I could turn it on! Ooh, there's this new series, it's about a..."

"Sorry Remy, I have to steal her now. Goodnight!"

"Goodnight Remy, see you in the morning!"

Even before the TV could be turned on, he had already lifted her up and they went to his bedroom, closing it with his foot. Giggling and whispers were again heard, which left the remote to wonder.

"What's happening, Bel? Are they sleepy? Maine didn't seem sleepy. I think she wanted to watch TV."

A loud thud and moaning was heard.

"Oh my! I think somebody got hurt! Oh no, oh no! Bel, we should do something! Good golly, we should call for help!"

"Uhm, Remy, believe me, they're fine. Just turn on the TV, and put the volume on high."

"But, but..."

"Ahh, Richard...oh god....uhmp....hah, hah, hah...."

"Oh no! Maine's hurt! Richard's hurting her! Bel, we should do something!'

"Remy dear, trust me, he is not hurting her. Please turn the TV on. NOW!"

"Maine, you...taste...so...sweet...uhmp....aaahhhhh..."

"Are they eating? What's happening Bel?!"

"TURN THE DARN TV ON!"