Abasement With Heavy Hearts

Chapter 7

TRIGGER WARNING: internalized homophobia, swearing, underage drinking

All thoughts in italics are Evan's thoughts, unless implied to be Connors.

BREAKBREAKBREAK

Two Days Later

Evan stared at Connor's contact name in his phone, longing to bring up the courage to text his friend. Heidi had given more than one concerned glance at her son, confused why he was just staring at his weird phone.

"Evan, can I help with something? It's the one night I'm home, I may as well help with something." Heidi asked, desperately wanting to be the supportive mom.

"I-I wanna text a friend. But d-don't know how to start the message." Evan confessed without a second thought, bursting like a bubble.

"A friend? Oh Evan, you have a friend?" Heidi gushed, resisting every urge in her body to pinch her son's cheeks like he was five. Evan flushed red, his mind raising on how to reply.

"Um, yeah. I have a friend. But, J-Jared is like a friend. I message him online s-sometimes." Evan defended, opening the messaging on his phone.

"Sorry, you've just never talked about a friend before. Maybe start by just saying hi?" She suggested, shrugging her shoulders. Evan sighed, running his un-casted hand through his hair.

"That seems so childish though. Hey seems too casual, hello is what grandma's say." Evan smiled before returning to his anxiety.

"You're really thinking into this, is this a girlfriend?" Heidi joked, stopping as her son's eyes widened. "Boyfriend?"

I wish.

Wait, what? Don't you want Zoe to be your girlfriend?

No, I want Connor to be my boyfriend.

Wait, wait, what?!

"No-no. Just a friend. Connor. The one that," he ran his hand along the bandages on his chest. "I got into the crash with."

"Oh! You stayed friends? That's so nice! I don't know if I want you in a car with him anytime soon, but-"

"Mom! I just want to text."

"Right, right. Just say hi. Don't stay up too late talking though, it's a school night." Heidi grinned, ruffling her son's hair like he was a young child. He blushed, waiting for her to leave before sending his text.

Taking a deep breath, Evan typed the two letters.

Evan
Hi. It's Evan

A few minutes passed before a reply came through.

Connor
Hey Evan glad you finally texted. Do you need anything?

Evan
No, I just thought we could talk. Like, friends do, ya know?

Connor
Oh. Sure yeah

Evan
So...

Connor
I love how you just sent hi. So cute.

Evan
It's cute?

Connor
Adorable. Like the person who said it 😉

Evan
Are you high?

Connor
Nah sober. Ur just cute.

Evan
You sure you aren't high?

I'm about as ugly as anything you could ever imagine.

Connor
Very sure. I flirt over text

Evan
You actually want to flirt with me?

Connor
As I said earlier my friend, you're adorable.

Evan
Are you drunk?

Connor
Mabe just a bit

Evan
Wow

See, there's no way he would ever like you.

Why do you keep thinking this way?

Connor
But not that drunk. 1 beer Hansen. I am not a lightweight.

Evan
You should sleep. Then maybe rethink me being 'adorable.'

Connor
I won't change my mind. Call me quick?

Evan
Ok

Evan clicked the call button on Connor's contact information, the ring only happening for a second before Connor picked up.

"Nice to hear your voice, Ev." Connor's muffled voice spoke, making an even darker blush creep onto his cheeks.

"Ev?"

"Yeah. Don't get used to it though, I only nickname when intoxicated, even just slightly." Connor laughed, filling Evan's heart with happiness.

"Why did you want me to call you?" Evan asked, trying to keep his voice low so he didn't disturb his mom down the hall.

"I wanted to explain. I hate gender roles, so I think guys should be able to tell each other that they look adorable. And I mean, have you seen my hair?"

"So, you don't have a crush on me?"

"You thought I had a crush on you? I mean, damn Ev I knew you were smart, but I didn't know you were that smart. You figured me out!"

Evan's heart felt like it was going to burst, his anxiety taking him many ways. "Are you sure you just had one beer?" He joked, silently hoping Connor was sober enough to know his feelings.

"Okay maybe two. My dad won't be missing them." Connor giggled, the sounds of sheets rustling in the background.

"You should sleep. I'll talk to you tomorrow?"

"Good idea, wish you were here Ev."

"O-oh. W-wow."

"Sorry, that was forward. I'm usually not this influenced after two beers. But know, I only speak the truth when drunk. I'm one of those drunks." Connor joked, a sigh coming in from his end.

"Okay, w-well, I'll talk to you when you're sober." Evan sighed, hanging up the phone before anything else could happen. Just when he felt his bearings return, his phone notification dinged.

Connor
Night Ev, sorry I scared u. I have that effect on people.

Evan
It's okay. I just don't know how I feel about you.

Connor
Confused?

Evan
Little bit.

Connor
It's okay Ev, I'll lay off. Sorry again, night Ev.

Evan
Sorry too. Night Connor.