Zach dempsey imagines

Breakup

Author: 13reasonswhyimagine

I took in a deep breath and checked my appearance in the mirror wiping away the moisture from my eyes hoping the redness would fade soon. Luckily, I was smart enough to decide not to do my makeup for exactly this reason. I knew seeing him would be too much. I thought I could handle it but he was just laughing with his friends as if nothing happened. I knew it was selfish of me to want him to be sad but I wish he was just so I knew that what we had was real. I wish I knew if he was in as much pain as me. Maybe that would make it at least a bit bearable.
Knowing going back to the cafeteria wasn't an option I grabbed my bag from the bathroom floor and made a beeline straight towards the doors to the school. Now normally I wasn't the type to skip school but that asshole always seemed to have an effect on me. I wasted no time getting into my car and pulling away from the school hoping putting some distance between us would make it better, though all it did was remind me of all the times he convinced me to ditch with him.

"Zach c'mon I have a bio test I can't miss." I whined as he grabbed my hand trying to practically pull me out of the school.
"I have an idea hold on." He said pulling his phone out of his pocket, typing in a number and putting it to his ear, "Hello? This is Y/F/N's dad. She's sick so I was calling to sign her out so she can come home."
I tried to hold in my giggles at his ridiculous voice. He had tried to make it deeper but he just sounded crazy. After exchanging a few more words he hung up and gave me a childish grin. For the millionth time, I realized I was dating a child.
"Now you're excused. Let's go." He told me as he grabbed my hand again and led me out of the school. I knew it was a terrible idea to skip and my parents would probably find out but when I was with him I just didn't care. We got into his car, checking around us to make sure there were no teachers or guards on campus.
"Where to m'lady?" He asked in a posh British accent.
"To the sunset." I said dreamily trying to put on a fake accent.
"Gladly." He told me, leaning in for a quick kiss before pulling out of the parking lot. I turned up the music and plugged my phone in to the aux chord knowing he'd probably complain about my music taste.

It seemed like those moments were so far away even though it took place last week. It felt like our whole relationship was a dream, wonderful but not attainable. I guess I knew I had to wake up at some point. Trying to push my thoughts away I sped onto the highway hoping if I went fast enough I could escape my thoughts. My knuckles were turning white with my grip on the steering wheel and I tried not to focus on the fact that this was the car we have so many memories in. Almost anytime I got in my car I was reminded of our first road trip together. It was mid-summer and neither of us had told anyone – even our parents – that we were leaving.

He had one hand on the steering wheel and the other one was laced through mine as he gently rubbed his thumb against the back of my hand. I rolled my window down, letting the warm July air into the car. I was sure people from miles away could hear his music blasting but it didn't even matter.
"I haven't been to Disneyworld in years." He said looking like an excited child. The huge grin on his face made me smile at how adorable he was. I leaned in to gently kiss his cheek before looking out at the window watching all the other cars zoom by. Everything felt so surreal, we didn't plan our little road trip and it didn't feel like it was really happening. But the feeling of his hand in mine and the whole world in front of us, was amazing. I was acutely aware of the fact that we could take off and just never come back. In that moment, it was me and him against the world.
"Maybe someday we can take our kids there." He told me softly and stole a glance. I smiled at him feeling so lucky to have him by my side.

Part of me should've known we'd never have a life together. We'd never have kids. We'd never have that little suburban house we talked so much about. I should've known I wasn't fit to be his wife. I should've known it was too good to be true. Fairy tales don't happen to me. Prince Charmings don't just prance into my life and take me away into the sunset so why would Zach be any different? Maybe it was my fault for building up this idea of a perfect guy in my head. Maybe it was my fault for expecting him to be a Prince.
I tightened my grip on the steering wheel to ground myself back into reality and took a deep breath remembering to count back from ten.
Ten.
Maybe I should've done more.
Nine.
I should've kissed him harder.
Eight.
I should've fought harder.
Seven.
I shouldn't have let him leave.
Six.
I shouldn't have made him leave.
Five.
He was too good for me.
Four.
I should've known a guy like that would never stay with me.
Three.
Happy ever after will never exist for me.
Two.
I should've known I don't deserve a prince.
One.
But I didn't deserve to be hurt either.
I was easily going 90 mph but I still felt like I was crawling. I couldn't escape my thoughts fast enough. I couldn't escape him fast enough. I had no idea where I was going, all I knew was I had to get out of town for a few hours. I had to go somewhere that he hadn't tainted with his memories. Deep down I knew he didn't deserve to be thought of this much. I shouldn't be beating myself up over something he did. But at the same time, he was the best thing I ever had and I hated the idea that maybe he wasn't so good after all. So it was easier for me to think it was me. It's easier for me to hate myself than him.