Unattainable (A Daryl Dixon love story)

19

When the light finally began to shine back into the room all Pepper could see was the dark cloth of Daryl’s shirt. She had stayed up all night, thoughts running through her mind like little monsters on Halloween.

Little did she know, Daryl had also stayed awake, but not out of fear, like her, but to make sure she was okay.

They both waited for the other one to wake up. Daryl saw Glenn twitch in his chair and slowly open his eyes. He quickly closed his, so he wouldn’t be awkwardly looking at him. As Glenn got up the chair squeaked against his pants as he got up and stretched.

Hearing that Glenn had finally woken up, Pepper also closed her eyes, deciding it would be better to be found asleep rather than awkwardly awake.

They both heard Glenn chuckle then say wake up in a low voice as he tapped both on the shoulder. They all looked at one another not knowing what to say. They had all agreed to an unspoken contract; deciding not to talk about it.

They quickly gathered their things, including the quilt, and left the house. “What now?” Pepper asked as they threw the supplies in the trunk of the truck. “We should check the houses near the back, that’s where all of the richer people are” Glenn said.  Daryl and Pepper both looked at him. “I used to deliver pizzas, I know these things” he said, getting into the truck.

After a short drive through the neighborhood, they soon found he was right. They all stood at the door of a huge white house, readying for what was inside. “This place is too big to clear all at once, we stick together and go room by room” Daryl said opening the door, not waiting for an answer.

They found themselves in a hallway upon walking in. The first door led to the kitchen. It was clear and they managed to get a few bags of pasta and a few knives before moving on. The next room was a big one, seemingly a living room, also empty of walkers and anything of use.

A lazy shuffle of feet could be heard in the hallway, accompanied by a chilling moan. Entering the room was one of the dead, but it was quickly taken care of by an arrow. As they continued moving, Daryl retrieved his arrow and tapped Glenn on the shoulder “Look.”

He was pointing at the farthest room down the hall. A loud cry was coming from behind its door, similar to that of a baby’s.

Pepper quickly ran down the hall and entered the room. “Pepper!” Glenn called as he and Daryl raced after her.

When they entered the room they found a dying woman holding her crying baby. “Please take her” the woman said before slipping away. The bite mark on her arm said it all. Pepper quickly grabbed the baby from her arms and Daryl took her out. They frantically searched the room for formula, finding loads of it. “We have to go now!” Glenn said hearing loud thuds of dead feet carrying more walkers toward them.

They ran through the hall, slashing through the dead, making it safely to the door and quickly into/onto their vehicles where Daryl led them out of the neighborhood and back onto the road.

Pepper rocked the baby into a slumber. “What are we going to do about that?” Glenn said. “I’m not sure, but I couldn’t leave her” she replied. “I know that, but this is extremely bad, you know that right?” he said in a paniced voice. “I know! I know! We just need to calm down and regroup, what if we-“ Pepper started, but was cut off by the baby’s coughs. They were loud, painful looking coughs.

“What’s happening?” Glenn said softly. “I don’t know!” she said patting the little one on the back. She only coughed harder and harder until she stopped.

Silence filled the truck.

“She died” Pepper said, holding the dead body.

“Pepper, you know what we have to do now” he said, but she didn’t listen, she only looked at it. She waited for as long as she could manage. All in one motion she had her knife out and into its head.

She let it lay in her lap, refusing to look at it or touch it.

The ride back was now the most silent it had ever been, it was almost deafening. Seeing the gates and seeing how quickly they were opened by the smiling faces of Rick and Jonah almost made Pepper sick. Once they were in and parked Daryl immediately got off of his bike and was at Pepper’s door. He opened it only to experience the pure horror of what he had missed.

All at one time everyone run up to them, not seeing either of them. Daryl was still standing at her door as she got out. All he saw was the baby and how she was clutching it. As Rick helped Glenn he walked by them, almost double taking.

“What is that?” he said.

“We found a baby, I held it, and it died” she said, looking at Daryl, as if she were talking to him. “Give her to me” Daryl finally said. She handed it over and he walked away, right past the rest of the group and their pained and confused faces, completely focused on the baby.

That night everyone once again sat quietness in their small pairs. Daryl and Pepper sat together at their own table. “I buried her under that tree you’re always talking about” he said, trying to get her to talk.

He remembered her telling him about that particular tree. It was just a plain tree, just like the others around it, but it was also the tree she had named Gertrude because the wood had morphed into a grandmother’s face. He never saw it, it was just wood to him, but it was a special tree to Pepper.

“Thank you” she finally said.

“It’s not your fault” he said, seeing how horribly she was beating herself up. “She needs a name, being namelessly buried isn’t right” she said, ignoring his words.

He didn’t reply.

“You should name her” she said to him.

He thought about it. That baby was all he could think about the whole ride back to the prison, and finding it dead darn near broke his heart.

“Jessica… What about Jessica?” he said slowly. “Daryl, that’s beautiful” She said, putting her hand on top of his. “It was my mom’s name, at least… that’s what I heard” he said finding her eyes then quickly looking away.

She decided not to ask, they were having a moment that she didn’t want to ruin; he was finally sharing. It was nothing huge, like a deep dark secret, but for Daryl it was a huge leap out of his comfort zone and she knew that. She also appreciated that he hadn’t moved his hand yet and allowed her to show slight affection in public.

Everyone ignored the two, giving them their much needed space, and didn’t badger them when they entered the same cell for bed, not trying to hide their sleeping arrangements.

Once in her cell, they both sat on the bed next to each other. She leaned her head onto his shoulder, kissed it, and rested it there for a while. “I think we both need a night to ourselves” she said.

He was surprised by that, but glad he wasn’t the one who had to bring it up, feeling the same way. He grabbed her chin gently and led her lips to his, then pulled away and got up. “I’m glad we’re on the same page” he said, leaving the cell.

In the morning Pepper had tired legs. Instead of sleeping she paced the floor of her room for most of the night, not getting a minute of sleep. Daryl, though, instantly fell asleep but was plagued by nightmares.

Neither of them were in a good mood, but both did feel a little better in regards to yesterday’s events. When Rick gave out everyone’s assignments for that day he gave Glenn, Daryl, and Pepper a “mental health day”.

“That’s bullshit, I’m not layin around all day!” Daryl scoffed, speed walking in anger over to the gates to help clear them. Pepper didn’t say a thing, didn’t even try to stop him, just watched him go. Lori grabbed her arm softly, making her mind snap from him to her. “Come on dear, we need to have a girl’s day” Lori said, pulling her away.