He'll Be The One

14- Regrets

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{Arden's POV}

It's been three days since that night since Ethan and I kissed, and we all got busted. I haven't even spoken to him, I'm too embarrassed. But what would I say to him if we talked? "Sorry I don't like you in that way because I'm infatuated with our music teacher?" Definitely not.
And Shawn, well he's been ignoring me too. I know he's probably just disappointed that I was involved with the noise in the hotel room and that he expected he thought I was more mature, but I can't but think maybe he could be annoyed because he saw Ethan kiss me. But he can't be jealous, right?
Nonetheless, I wasn't going to find out if I don't try and talk to him.

It currently ten o'clock at night and Mia went out with Daniel to go late-night skiing. I was alone in our room and I tried to just sleep, which wasn't working out.

Instead, I decide to go for a walk around the resort. I put on my boots and black jacket, before I head out the door, not even taking my phone.

I made sure that hurried down the corridors, so that no teachers would catch me and send me back, since they've become more strict.

I soon made it outside and the cold, crisp air hit me almost instantly. I put my hands into my pockets, keeping them warm, as I forgot to bring my gloves.

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I walk up a small hill that was separate to the resort.

"Arden?" I heard a man's voice ask.

I panic initially, not realising who it was. I look over to see a guy wearing familiar dark clothes stand up.

"Mr Mendes?" I hesitate.
"Arden you're supposed to be in your room at this hour." He says, walking over to me, confirming that it was indeed Shawn.

"I was bored and I couldn't sleep." I confess.
"You should really be getting back." He says in return.

"How comes you're out at this time then?" I ask him, ignoring what he just said.
"I guess I've just had a lot on my mind, and I thought that going out at this time would allow me to have some peace and quiet."

"Mr Mendes I know for a fact that you're still angry with me from the other night but I have no idea why. Mia was there too, and this morning I saw you two talking away like normal. But what did I do differently that made you despise me?" I plead. Inside I was thinking that I would love nothing more than him to say that he was jealous that he saw me and Ethan together.

"Arden I was angry because I expected more from you. I thought you were different compared to everyone else, that you were more responsible-"
"Well I'm sorry that I didn't live up to your expectations." I give up.

There was a moment of silence, where neither of us said a word.

"Arden, I'm sorry. I treated you unfairly, I guess it's because you're not just a student to me compared to the others... Outside of school we're different and we're friends. So I think it was a shock to me that you'd be involved with what happened. But it made me remember that I still don't know you completely and that you are, at the end of the day, still a teenager who wanted to have fun." Shawn apologises.

"I'm happy to put this behind us if you are?" I smile, lifting the mood.

"I am." He chuckles. "Come sit down, as we're here we might as well just sit and enjoy the peace."

We both sat down on the snow, with not a lot of space between us.

"Oh by the way, when we get back, I might have to cut down my piano lessons to just once a week instead of twice." I say, slightly shivering.
"That's okay, is there a particular reason why?" He replies, looking at me.
"It's nothing bad, I just need to spend more of my time studying before our exams before christmas."
"You know your proper exam aren't until April." He says.
"Yeah but the results I get from these ones are the grades I have to send to colleges."
"Where do you want to go?" Shawn asks.
"Originally England, but I've been thinking that I would love to go to NYU. Plus, it's closer to home. Where did you study?"
"I went to Trent, my Mom didn't want me going too far." He laughs.
"How come you didn't pursue music, I'm not kidding when I say that I know for a fact you could be successful."
"I guess I just felt more comfortable with teaching, but who knows what the future will bring." Shawn replies.

And what went from minutes to hours, we just continued to talk and learn about each other. And I think that we soon forgot that he was my teacher and I was his student.

"Arden, seriously take my gloves!" He says for the third time.
"Honestly I'm fine." I laugh.
"You're shivering, take them." Shawn says, as he takes his own gloves off his hands and passes them too me.

"Thank you." I reply, giving in. I put them on quickly, blushing, but turning my head so he wouldn't be able to see.

He chuckled at me, as it was clear to see that his gloves were far too big for mine.

"I love moments like this." I whispered, looking up at the stars on this clear night.

"What do you mean?" He asks. I could see Shawn turn his head towards me. I kept my eyes forward.

"I mean, I love this. I love that I can lay here with you and look at the stars and feel so at peace," I continued, a smile growing on my face, "I love that I feel comfortable with you. I love the fact I can or did, go on adventures with you. I love it all."

I almost muttered those three words that I knew I couldn't take back. Almost.

"It's like you took the words from my mouth." He whispers, before turning back to look at the stars.

There was a few minutes of silence before he shifted and sat up completely. He turned and sat there looking at me.

"Do you ever wonder what might've happened?" Shawn asks.

I lifted my eyes to his. "If we weren't teacher and student, you mean?"

He nodded.

"Yeah, of course."

"Me too," he says. "All the time."

Neither of us moved and regret quickly filled the space between us. Because even though those words should change everything, it just reminded me of what I could never have.