He'll Be The One

17- Honest

{Shawn's POV}

We found out that she had a bad sprain, so after they bandaged her up and gave her a pair of crutches, we made our way back to the hotel. I was very hesitant in leaving Arden back in her room. Although Mia was there to help her, I still wanted to stay.

But I knew it would seem strange if I was too, and I had my date tonight with Polly that I couldn't cancel. In spite of the fact it's clear I don't feel the same way as she does. She's a kind and generous woman, but I can't lead her on. It wouldn't be fair to be in a relationship with her if I'm always going to think about Arden, even if I'm trying to get over her. So that's why I had to go tonight, to tell Polly I can't do this and tell her I'm sorry.

-------------------------------

I still made sure I got dressed nicely, in one of my shirts, jeans and my smart boots.

Walking to the reception was probably one of the most nerve wracking feelings I think I have ever felt. I kept thinking about what I would say, how I would say it and even when I'd say it.

My thoughts were paused when I saw her sitting in the reception all ready.

"Hey Shawn!" She says eagerly.
"Polly you look amazing." I reply, smiling.

"As do you Shawn! I already called the taxi but they were busy tonight, so they said that they will be able to pick us up in half an hour. Is that okay?" Polly exclaims.

"It's fine, would you want to grab a drink at the bar whilst we wait?" I ask, still feeling extremely guilty.
"Perfect." She grins. 

We make our way to the hotel bar, that was surprisingly very quiet for a Sunday night. 
"Go and sit in a booth and I'll get the drink. Wine?" I ask her.
"Yes please." She replies, before going to sit down.

"A red wine and a double whiskey." I say towards to barman.
"Date night?" He raises his brow.
"More of the opposite." I sigh.
"Good luck man." He replies. "Here, on the house."
"Are you sure?"
"Just be careful she doesn't throw the red wine all over you, it's a hard stain to get out."

I chuckle slightly before thanking him and making my way over to Polly, who was fiddling with her hair.

"Oh by the way, I heard about what happened with Arden, it's pretty lucky you were nearby, is she okay?" Polly asks, as I sit down.
"I mean she had a pretty bad sprain and she'll be in crutches for a week, but yeah Arden's okay." I reply, trying to avoid eye contact as I felt so awkward talking about Arden with Polly.
"Oh thank God!"
"At least her friends will look after her tonight and when we get back to school." I reply.
"And Christmas break is coming up." She says excitingly.
"I can't wait to just chill for a few weeks." I say, sipping my drink. 
"Maybe we'd be able to go out some more then too." She smiles.

Those words kept ringing in my head. I can't keep doing this to her. I had to be honest.

"Polly, I really need to tell you something, but there's no way to say it that easily." I blurt out, knowing that I had to face my feelings.

"Shawn... what is it?" She hesitates, with fear slowly showing on her face.

"I need to make this clear, this isn't your fault and I hate to hurt you." I say, before taking a deep breath. "I have to be honest with you-."
"A-are you ending this?" She stutters.
"I'm sorry." I pause. "You deserve so much more than I can promise you."

"But why? Shawn, over these past few days you've given me nothing but happiness. Why don't you feel the same?"

Of course Arden was my answer, but I can't say that.

"I can't give you what you need, I'm just not in the right head space to be in a relationship." I admit.
"Why is it that any guy I like, always leads me on and then just abandons me?"
"I am truly so sorry Polly-"

"They all are." She retorts. "You can cancel the taxi if you want, I'm going." Polly stands up and leaves abruptly.

As much as I felt horrible and bad, I felt relieved that I didn't have to lie to myself anymore....  

{A/N sorry about this filler chapter, but i think the one before this was too long whoops. oh well. thankyou to everyone reading and please don't forget to vote <3}