Why did you choose me?

I needed to tell you that

Justin's pov:

I take a deep breath and look at him.

Me: Look Rae there isn't really a lot I havn't told you yet. But when I came out to my mom and dad about being gay a few years ago. My dad was totally supportive. My mom was not and she still isn't. Then when I wanted to start transitioning, my dad was perfectly okay with it. My dad was like my hero. He would try to raise money for me to get my surgeries. My ex boyfriend, He was supportive of that too. My mom never tried to help me or talk to me. It was all my dad. Then a few months ago, He got in a really bad car a-accident and died o-on i-impact.

I started crying I hated talking about what happened to my dad. Rae saw I was crting and kissed my cheek and played with my hair. I calmed down a little.

Raegan: You don't need to continue. I know you feel upset.

He says still playing with my hair. I wipe my tears and try to stop crying.

Me: No it's okay I'll tell you. So anyway agter he died, I was devastated. All the money he raised for me, my mom took it for herself. I really wished it wasn't my dad who died. He didn't deserve it. I didn't come out of my room for weeks. I barely ate and I didn't talk to anyone. I would wake up, go to school, and come home and sleep. So now to this day, my mom doesn't support anything I do. I try to talk to her about getting top surgery at least but she always either ignores me or hits me.

My eyes water again but I contain myself.

Me: Rae your all I have. If I never met you I don't know if I would still be alive. I would always cut and be depressed. You helped me though and I thank you for that. Just please never leave me because I won't know what to do with myself. (Sorry I cried 😭)

I cover my mouth to try to stop me from crying. Rae didnt say anything. He just puts me on his lap facing him and he hugs me. I put my head on his shoulder.

Raegan: Let it out Jay I won't judge I understand.

As soon as he said that I bursted into tears. I hugged his neck and he squeezed my waist.

Me: Rae I hate my l-life. What did I do to deserve t-this?

We both let go of the hug. And he looks at me.

Raegan: Jay I'm so sorry about your dad. He sounded like such a great guy. But your okay you can get through this I promise. I will never leave you because I love you and I will never stop. I hope that when we are old enough we can move into our own house away from eveyone.

My eyes lit up at his last sentence.

Me: Really?

Raegan: Absolutly.

Me: How did my life take such a big turn when you came into it? I love you too so so so much Raegan.

Raegan: Lets watch some movies.

I nod and wipe my tears. He kisses me and we lay down. He wraps his arms around me and I put my head on his chest. He plays with my hair because always knows how to calm me down.

After a while I need to use the bathroom so I tell Rae and go into the bathroom. I do my business and then I look in the mirror. I take off my shirt and see my binder. I then take off my binder and stare at my chest. I hate my body. I wish I was born in the right body.
I hear a knock at the door.

Raegan: Jay it's Raegan are you okay?

I pannic and try to put my binder on quick.

Me: Y-yea Rae i-im fine.

He walks in and I cover my chest. I couldn't get my binder on fast enough.

Raegan: Oh I'm sorry Jay.

Me: No it's okay. I was just feeling really dysphoric when I was looking at my chest.

Raegan: C-can I see your chest Justin?

Me: Uhhmmm....

Raegan: You can trust me baby please I won't judge.

I take a deep breath a nod. I slowly take my hands away. He stares at my chest. My eyes water.

Me: I-i know I'm ugly Rae stop s-staring.

A tear slides down my cheek and I grab my binder quick and try to put it on. Rae walks up to me and takes the binder out of my hands and hugs me.

Raegan: Baby don't cry I wasn't staring because you are ugly. Your so handsome Justin and your chest is beautiful.

He leans down and kisses my chest.

Me: Thank you Rae but no I'm so ugly.

Raegan: No baby I promise your not. Your so handsome and cute I may add *giggles* Your chest is much nicer than ones I've been of trans kids.

Me: Really?

Raegan: Yes baby really.

I smile but it fades slowly.

Me: Yea I just really hate my body. I want too surgery so bad.

Rae kinda stares into space for a second.

Raegan: Lets go downstairs I wanna talk to your mom.

Me: You do?

Raegan: Yea come on.

I put my binder and shirt back on and we walk downstairs. I wonder why he wants to talk to my mom.

Guys I've been in a mood to write today as you can tell lol. If your lucky I might update again today 😊😉 Plz comment and vote 💙
●Samantha Sarno●