opposites- Phan fic

Chapter eight: Open the door

This chapter has some triggering thoughts, you have been warned.

PHIL:

"Dan! Open the door please, can't we talk about this!! Dan!" I yelled, banging on his door.

DAN:

I burst out crying, I didn't wanna talk about this because he would ask me so many questions that I didn't wanna answer and he'd want me to stop but I don't want to. It's the only thing I have that makes the hurt go away even if it's for a second. I don't wanna live any more, I hate this I wanna die. I have sleeping pills in my room somewhere, I take them sometimes when I can't sleep. I could just take them right? Then Phil and Ells and Isaac wouldn't have to worry about me any more. 

PHIL:

I stop banging to hear the fiddling off his drawers opening and closing followed some more footsteps. "DAN! PLEASE ET ME IN!!" I yell desperately. I suddenly remember the keys we kept in the front room for all of the different rooms. Running down the hallway, I grab the keys, running back to Dan's door and fumbling to unlock it. It finally opens and I see Dan, looking terrified and confused.

DAN:

I feel like I can't breath at all, I cower to the other side of the room and hide my face, I'm still holding to bottle of pills tightly in my hand but I can't use them because Phil's right there and he'll take it away from me. I don't want him to look at me, I don't want him to see what a freak I am.

PHIL:

I hurry over to where Dan is, knocking the bottle of pills out of his hand. I pull him into a hug, gripping at his shirt tightly, as if he would run away as soon as I let go. "I'll help you through this Dan. I promise. I know you can't just stop cutting just because I told you to, but I want to make you realize how utterly perfect your are, not only to me, but your whole family and friends. You may not believe it yet, but Daniel Howell, I love you so so much." I cry, resting my head on his shoulders as he's still shaking slightly,tears wetting my shoulder.

DAN:

I could barely talk I was crying so hard. "I-I'm s-s-so sorry P-Phil! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.." I said but it came out as a yell because I was crying that hard and it was hard to talk. I

PHIL:

"Shhh, don't worry Dan it's fine. I would never blame you, its not like you can help it." I softly stroked his hair until he calmed down a bit more an his breathing pattern turned back to normal. "Bear, do you wanna go watch a movie on the couch or something and cuddle? I've really been missing that." I smiled at the thought a Dan nods eagerly. We walk over to the couch, as I put a random movie in and quickly go back to Dan who was already comfy under the blankets.

DAN:

When Phil get's under the blankets we cuddle into each other instantly. I was a little confused though. He didn't yell at me, or call me a freak or run away, he didn't ask me questions. He just held me and told me that it was okay and really that's all I ever wanted to hear.

PHIL:

"Danny, in the future if you ever need somebody to talk to, please come to me. And if you ever have the urge to cut, I really want to help, so I need you to tell me when. If you really have to cut, and won't take no for an answer, and desperately need a release, i'll let you cut. Only if its that serious, and I have to watch. Is that okay? It's easier than just stopping altogether which I know is probably impossible."

DAN:

I bit my lip slightly and nodded "You wouldn't wanna watch though.."

PHIL:

"But I don't wanna leave you alone in that state. Ever." I say sternly.

DAN:

I just nodded and agreed, because I know by the look on his face that no matter what I said it wouldn't make a difference

PHIL:

"I'm sorry i'm so bad at this. I don't really know what to do...I mean I just...all I want is for you to know I love you. Do you know why I love you? "

DAN:

I shock my head "N-No actually I don't know why.."

PHIL:

"I love you because your so...you. Your funny, sarcastic, weird. You do almost everything ironically. It's cute how your always self conscience about your curly hair, and your eyes. They are like a chocolate brown, it's so beautiful. I also love how loving you are. You always care for other people, your never selfish, don't ever think you are. Your not annoying, your lovely, I love being around you since you always make me smile. I love you so much Dan." I smile, pecking him on the lips.

DAN:

I smiled and leaned forward and kissed him again lovingly, I just wanted to be close to him right now, I didn't care I just wanted us to be close.

PHIL:

I leaned my forehead against his, feeling amazing sparks. I stared into Dan's brown orbs, mesmerized by the beauty.

DAN:

"I love you." I mumbled to Phil once we pulled away, "I love you, I love you, I love you, god I can't express it enough how much I love you. You're perfect and worth everything to me."

PHIL:

I giggle slightly at Dan's little outburst, pecking him on the cheek, nose, chin and finally mouth. The kiss turned more passionate as he slipped his tongue into mine, causing our tongues to fight for dominance. After a minute or two had passed, we finally pulled away, the need for oxygen too strong. Dan bit his lip, staring at me as I started giggling slightly for no reason. I guess I was just overly happy.

DAN:

"You're so beautiful Phil, and cute and hot and sexy and pretty and gorgeous, just all those words really."

PHIL:

"Thanks bear." I blush deeply