My Life High school years.

April 14th 2014

I'm so sincerely sorry I haven't been on for a few days/weeks but a lot of stuff has been blocking me from writing so I apologize again. I've been in the "dumps" lately since I'm still getting over this whole Dylan upset thing and this previous Friday (4- 11-2014) was the 5 year anniversary since my grandfather/hero/role model died. I always get depressed around this time thinking about how great he was and stuff. I was spending the night at his and my grandmothers house almost every weekend I could. Also as of 4- 9-14 it has been a month since my great grandmother (granny Rose) died. It's been rough for me for a while though.

I think it was last week or two weeks ago that a guy named Allen in my p.e. class and bass (fishing) club asked me to go fishing with him at our local park with a lake and river. That made me kinda happy but when you're heart broken or at least for me I CAN'T crush. I'm not sure if I told you that or not but yeah my mom had to go to work and she couldn't drive me there and I'm too young to even get my permit yet so it stinks that we live about 8-10 mi. from town.

We went to my grandfather's grave yesterday and put flowers on it. We also went to my Granny Rose's grave and done the same too. After the graveyard we went to my grandmother's house and celebrated her birthday even though it was a week late she still enjoyed it. We had a pretty good time down there then after my grandmother's house my mother and I went down to my maternal grandmother's house and I visited with my cousin and she told me some upsetting news but that just makes me proud that she told me this and she trusts me with her secrets.

I fixed my hair in a new way and I actually felt pretty this morning. Then I turned a corner and seen my ex-friend Dylan and I looked for a second or two but then I put my hands in my jacket pockets, and walked with my head down to my locker. I felt great until then, seeing him gave me a terrible feeling of sadness, I thought I was going to cry but I never did. I felt worse as the day went on because I was getting flashbacks of the first day I talked to him which was the best but now worst day of my life then after these flashbacks I would get angry but sad at myself and shake my head no until the worst part was over.  I felt like I could get sick at any moment but I never did. I wanted to talk to my friends about it at lunch today but I couldn't since they were constantly talking to eachother.

I'm trying to remember what else has happened since my last entry but I'm drawing blanks for now. For now enjoy this story and my other works. I'm still wanting your feedback, and advice if you have any at all. Have a great life in general forever. I'm wishing and hoping for the best in your life. If you need help I can help you or at least attempt to help you. Thanks for ready and I suggest reading my story called "Dylan's hugs".