My Life High school years.

March 27th 2014

Today sucked so bad. It started off bad by me getting my books and Dylan was walking in front of me and just seeing him ruins me. I put my books down in my Algebra class then went to the bathroom feeling like I was going to burst with tears. I never did cry though but I just got up walked back to class and stared at the wall. Then I seen him again going to 2nd hour English and it hurt me too. It feels like a stab in the heart every time I see, or hear him and when I hear his name even if it's about a completely other Dylan it still stabs me.

I wrote a new poem called "Dirt?" in my book Scars. It's about 2 guys that have broken my heart several times one more than the other. I seriously don't get why all the guys leave me and make me feel this way. I'm loosing hope and strength. I almost cried 2 times today. 1 this morning as I told you but also at lunch when my friends were talking to each other and I felt lonely and I felt like I was lying to them about smiling because I feel so empty inside. <-- is also another one of my poems in my book Scars only the poem is called "Practically Dead". I just have to say I miss the old me but the more I think about it I was never really happy.

Morp is Saturday at my high school and I hope I can go with some of my friends instead of being alone at home on my computer like I am right now. I love wattpad but I just get so bored because I'm isolated to this house. As of the past 2 years my life consists of school, and home, school, and home and over again until now. I'm on the edge and thinking about taking the jump and falling to sleep forever... I just don't want to put the people I love through the pain I'm feeling right now. I don't feel love from my family just from my friends and my one cousin and that's who I love.

I hope you keep up to date on these entries because I would LOVE to get your feedback, and advice from you. I don't know what makes me happy anymore. It just seems like everything has spun down the drain since 2 years ago. I'm not broken just frozen over. I wore my jacket all day to see if I could warm up the ice inside my soul but I couldn't so here I am. Vote, comment, inbox me questions, advice, feedback, and share any of my stories with your friends, family. I'm working on 7 works as of now plus school works, and my own issues so keep in mind I'm pretty busy. Enjoy my poems here -->  http://www.wattpad.com/story/12423116-scars